Joke of the Day: Breakfast

It’s early in the morning, and Johnny, who’s ten years old, is telling his younger brother Freddie that he’s going to use a Bad Word that day. Freddie thinks this is most daring thing ever, and asks,

“Really??? That’s soooo cool! What word you gonna use? Huh?”

Johnny whispers “I’m going to say ‘God-damn’!”

Freddie is really impressed. “Wow! I wanna say a bad word too! I’m going to say… say… ASS!”

They are both really excited and are whispering and planning until their mother calls them down to breakfast. They can barely control their giggling when their mother sweetly asks,

“What would you like for breakfast, Johnny?”

And Johnny, with a conspiratorial look at his brother, says

“I’m gonna have… gonna have… gonna have some god-damn eggs!”

Their mother is stunned, then furious – “WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!”, and grabs Johnny by the scruff of his neck, turns him over and spanks him until he’s sore and crying, and then sends him straight up to bed. Then, still furious, she turns to Freddie and demands,

“And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man!?”

Freddie is utterly cowed and can barely speak he’s so scared, but finally manages to speak,

“I’m … I’m… I’m… not sure – but you can bet your ass I don’t want no god-damn eggs!”


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