Joke of the Day: Catholic School
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Joke of the Day: Catholic School

Little Timmy’s parents were at a conference with his teachers. Most of his classes were going very well except he seemed to be struggling in math, so they tried and tried to get him the help he needed but nothing seemed to catch on. Eventually his parents decided to put him in a different school all together. A catholic school.

A few months went by and his parents decided to have another conference with his teachers to see how he was doing. And to their surprise he was excelling in all of his classes, especially Math! They were stunned and a little confused. So they went to ask Little Timmy for the reason behind all of it. And he says “The first day I got there I saw some guy nailed to a plus sign, so I figured they take that shit seriously!”

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Joke of the Day: The Doctor and The Veterinarian
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Joke of the Day: The Doctor and The Veterinarian

Two lifelong friends, a doctor and a vet, are in a bar. Over the course of a few drinks the topic of conversation moves to work.

“You are lucky” says the vet “Your patients come in and tell you what is wrong with them. It would make treating them so much simpler” “Ah” retorts the doctor “But you forget the social pressure and reliance upon which I must do my job. If I make even a small mistake, I could be sued for everything I have’

Neither the Vet nor the doctor wish to concede that they have the easiesr job. So the vet suggests a challenge. “Next time I am ill I shall come to see you but, as with my patients, I will not say a single word. If you can treat me I shall admit defeat” the doctor agrees and they enjoy the rest of their night.

Months pass and both men are very busy with work but one day the doctor hears a knock at the door. It is the vet who simply enters and lies on the couch. The doctor is initially confused but soon remembers his late night bet with his friend. The doctor begins to do a routine physical exam, looks the vet over, takes his temperature, all the usual tests. This goes on for a while with the doctor seemingly making no progress. The doctors frustration is evident on his face. He eventually signals for the vet to stand up and take his leave. As the vet approaches the door the doctor hands him a prescription for some basic antibiotics and says

“Here take two of these and if you’re not better in the morning I’ll have you put down.”

——-

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Joke of the Day: 10-year old Little Johnny
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Joke of the Day: 10-year old Little Johnny

10-year old Little Johnny brings Suzy home from school

He says, “Mom, Suzy and I want to get married .”

His Mom thinks it’s adorable, so she asks with fake concern, “But Johnny, where will you live?”

He says, “Well, we thought about that and my room is bigger than hers, so we’ll probably live in my room.”

“But Johnny, what will you do for money?” the mother asked grinning.

“Well, I get $5.00 a week allowance, and Suzy gets $3.50, and I think we can get by on that.”

The mother asks slyly, “But what if you have children? How will you buy diapers?”

Little Johnny shrugs, “Well, we’ve been lucky so far . . .”

“““““

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