Joke of the Day: Three envelopes

Joke of the Day: Three envelopes

When I started my job, they handed me three envelopes.

“These three envelopes were left to you by the previous employee who was recently let go. He said to open them in order if you ever got into a jam.”

The job didn’t seem so tough, and after all, why would I want to take advice from the guy who was just fired? I threw the envelopes into a drawer and settled into my new job. The people were friendly, there were always fresh donuts and bottomless coffee, and everything always just fell into place.

Until one day it hit the fan. Everyone came looking for me for this major issue, and I’ll be honest, I didn’t know what to do. For whatever reason, I was reminded of the envelopes and proceeded to open the one marked #1.

“Blame the previous guy.”

Well, sure! I mean, if it wasn’t for all the stuff he did in the past, we wouldn’t be in this predicament now! I told everyone it was the previous guy’s fault, and everyone seemed to accept that. Slowly, business got back to normal. I felt like I dodged a bullet. Months went by and not a single bump in the road. And then…Another emergency. I could hear people yelling my name, and not in a good way. Without hesitation, I reached for envelope #2.

“Blame the support staff.”

Right? I mean, if they were doing their job and told me sooner, I could’ve fixed all of this before it was even a problem! Everyone nodded. Couldn’t argue with that logic. I was relieved to have dodged another bullet. I must be pretty good at this after all!

A full year went by and, sure, some people had since been let go, but I was still sitting pretty with a good job and a carefree attitude. Things just always seemed to work out! When the next crisis hit, I wasn’t even phased. I could hear the people yelling my name, and I could almost even imagine them carrying pitchforks all aimed at me. Whatever. I still had that final envelope which I opened as everyone was amassed at my door.

“Prepare three envelopes,” it said…


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