Joke of the Day: in Heaven

Joke of the Day: in Heaven

Three men arrive at the pearly gates and St. Peter tells them that Heaven is pretty crowded right now, so only people with the most horrific deaths can enter, everyone else has to wait until more room is made. He asks each man in turn how they died.

The first man says well, I lived on the 5th floor of an apartment building in downtown New York. I had been suspecting my wife of cheating on me for quite some time, so I came home from work a few hours early to catch her in the act. She’s in bed, naked, but said he was just hot and tired so I quickly started to search for her lover. I searched the whole house and couldn’t find him until I went out to the balcony, and sure enough there the sonofabitch was, hanging from the guard rail. I started to punch and kick him, but he wouldn’t fall, so I finally took off my shoe and began to hit his hands with it. He finally fell, and in my rage and adrenaline rush I grabbed the refrigerator and threw it off the balcony. I apparently died of a heart attack from over exertion.

St. Peter looks at the man and says “wow, that’s pretty horrible, go on in.” Then asks the second man for his story.

Well, I live on the 6th floor of an apartment building in New York city. I came home from work a bit early and, like always, got myself a cup of tea and went to my balcony to drink it while enjoying the view and fresh air. I must have lost my balance somehow, because I fell off. Fortunately I grabbed the guard rail of the floor below me and held on for dear life. Eventually someone came to help me, but to my dismay he started punching and kicking me instead. I held on for as long as I could, but he eventually took off his shoe and started hitting my hands, I finally fell. To my surprise I woke up in the bushes with only some scrapes and scratches, just in time to see a refrigerator falling from the balcony. It landed on me and I died.

St. Peter looks at him and again says “wow, that’s pretty terrible, go on in.” He then asks the third man about his death.

Third guy says “ok, picture this, I’m naked in a refrigerator….”


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