A small zoo in Arkansas obtained a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available. In a desperate hope to solve the problem, the Zoo Keeper approached a local redneck, Dugly with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?
Dugly showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under four conditions.
“First”, Dugly said, “I ain’t gonna kiss her on the lips.” The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.
“Second”, he said, “You can’t never tell no one about this.” The Keeper again readily agreed to this condition.
“Third”, Dugly said, “I want all the children raised Southern Baptist.” Once again it was agreed.
And last, Dugly said, “I’ll need another week to come up with the $500.00.”
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