A divorced man is walking to town and discovers an old lamp in oddly impeccable shape glistening through the bushes. He decides it’s worth a closer look, walks over and picks it up.

All of a sudden a genie pops out and tells the man in his booming voice “You have three wishes, but be careful; for whatever you wish, your ex gets double.”

The man, taken aback, scratches his head for a moment and tells the genie “Alright, I wish for a 100-million dollar mansion.”

“It is yours as you desire. Your ex will be happy to learn she now owns a 200-million dollar mansion. What is your next wish?”

“Well, I’m going to have to pay the bills on that huge house, so I suppose I’ll wish for a billion dollars. That ought to cover it for a while, at least.”

The genie reaches into his lantern and pulls out a bank statement on which the man’s name is printed, then hands it to him. “You’ll find your finances are in order, to the tune of one billion dollars. Don’t forget, your ex has twice as much. And for your last wish?”

The man rubs his chin for a minute to ponder. “I wish to be beaten half to death.”

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