Joke of the Day: Job interview
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Joke of the Day: Job interview

A man goes into a job interview, and presents himself well.

The employer is shocked at how professional he is, “Wow, you have an incredible resume, and present yourself fantastically, but you seem to be missing 5 years on this part of your resume. What happened there?”

The man replied “Oh that’s when I went to Yale.”

The employer is even more impressed. “That’s great, you’re hired!”

The man is super happy and says “Yay I got a yob!”

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Joke of the Day: At the strip club
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Joke of the Day: At the strip club

Jeff works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday. His wife thinks he’s pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club. The doorman at the club greets them and says, ‘Hey, Jeff! How ya doin?’ His wife is puzzled and asks if he’s been to this club before. ‘Oh no,’ says Jeff. ‘He’s in my bowling league.

When they are seated, a waitress asks Jeff if he’d like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, ‘How did she know that you drink Budweiser?’ ‘I recognize her, she’s the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.’

A cute stripper with a big ass then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Jeff, starts to rub her big ass all over him and says, ‘Hi Jeffy. Want your usual table dance, big boy?’

Jeff’s wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Jeff follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Jeff tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book.

The cabby turns around and says, ‘Geez Jeff, you picked up a real bitch this time.’

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Joke of the Day: Foul-mouthed bird
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Joke of the Day: Foul-mouthed bird

A woman adopted a foul-mouthed bird because he was so beautiful and she thought he could be retrained.

The shelter told her the bird lived in a whorehouse for the last decade. When her husband’s car pulled in the drive, she dreaded what the bird would say to him.

The bird looked at the husband and said, “Hi Phil, welcome back.”?

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Joke of the Day: Portrait
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Joke of the Day: Portrait

A woman is having her portrait painted and instructs the artist to add a gold bracelet to each of her wrists, a strand of pearls around her neck, ruby earrings, and a diamond tiara.

The artist pointed out that would be tantamount to lying.

The woman said “Look, my husband is running around with a young blond. After I die, I want her to go crazy looking for the jewelry.”

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