Mr. Bear was chasing Mr. Rabbit through the forest, wanting to hurt him for fun. As they ran, they both tripped over an old lamp on the ground, and a genie flew out. “Since you both rubbed my lamp, you each get three wishes.”
“I’ll go first!” Mr. Bear yelled. “My first wish is to be as handsome as a bear can be.” Mr. Bear suddenly became bigger and stronger, and his coat became incredibly luxurious.
Next was Mr. Rabbit’s first wish. “I wish I had the ability to use human technology,” he said. After the genie nodded, Mr. Rabbit was able to move his front paws much more similarly to human hands.
“That’s a dumb wish,” Mr. Bear said, “A lady rabbit isn’t going to be interested in technology. My second wish is that every female bear I meet is instantly attracted to me.” There were no female bears around, but the genie assured him it was done.
“My second wish is for a rabbit-sized motorcycle and helmet,” Mr. Rabbit said. A very small motorcycle popped into existence next to him and a helmet complete with ear-holes appeared on his head. With his new technology expertise, Mr. Rabbit was able to climb onto the motorcycle and give it a few revs.
“What a waste!” Mr. Bear yelled. “You don’t need that! Now that I’ll have all the lady bears I want, I won’t be interested in chasing you! Speaking of which,” he said, “for my final wish, I wish that all the * other * bears in a one thousand mile radius were female.” The genie said that it was so. Mr. Bear turned to Mr. Rabbit and sneered, “and what kind of stupid last wish do you have, you dumb rabbit?”
Mr. Rabbit gave his motorcycle another rev and strapped his helmet under his chin. He looked at the genie and said, “I wish that Mr. Bear were gay,” and sped off through the woods.
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