A mathematician, a philosopher, and an idiot arrive at the pearly gates. St. Peter says to them” Sorry, heaven is quite full, so we can only let one of you in.” Suddenly “Poof!” Lucifer appears. Lucifer tells them “You may each ask me one question. If you are able to ask me a question that I cannot answer, you will be allowed into heaven; if not you will be sent to HELL.”
With that, the mathematician steps forward and asks Lucifer “What is the most complex mathematical theory ever formulated?!” Lucifer replies “Easy!” and with the snap of his fingers a stack of papers appears. The mathematician goes through the papers and eventually exclaims “Yes, this is the most complex mathematical theory ever formulated.” Lucifer responds “HAHAHA! Now, go to HELL!!” and the mathematician vanishes. Next the philosopher approaches. He states “What is a summary of all of Socrates’ teachings!?” “Easy!” Cries Lucifer, and he snaps his fingers again, making another stack of papers appear. The philosopher carefully reads through the pages. Eventually, in defeat, he exclaims “Yes, this must be every single teaching of Socrates.” Lucifer’s evil laugh continues, “AAHAHAHAAA! Now, go to HELL!” the philosopher is banished to hell.
Lastly, the idiot steps forward. “Bring me a chair!” the idiot tells Lucifer. So the devil brings forth a wooden chair. “Drill 6 holes in the seat!” the idiot demands. So the devil does just that. Just then, the idiot sits down on the chair and farts very loudly. He then stands up and yells his question at Lucifer “Now, which hole did my fart come out of!!?” The devil takes the chair, inspecting it closely. He replies “HAHAHA! The third hole from the left, you are mine!!!” “Wrong!” replies the idiot “It was my asshole!!” And with that St. Peter opens the gates, and the idiot goes to heaven.
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