Musician gets a job

A pianist is down on his luck, and been without a job for a while. As he’s walking down the street one day, he passes a pub with a sign outside that says, “Pianist Wanted.” He walks in, and says, “I saw the sign outside, I’ve played the piano my entire life, and I need a job. Can I audition?”

The manager says, “Sure, play me a song.”

So the man starts to play. The song is a catchy tune, and the manager starts to clap his hands and tap his feet. As the song ends,the managers says, “I loved it! What’s the name of that song?”

The man says, “I call that one, ‘Your sister is a whore!”

The manager is startled, but he asks the man to play another. This time, he plays a song so beautiful, that the manager is wiping tears from his eyes by the end. He then asks,

“What’s that song called?”

The man replies, “That one’s called, ‘I’m going to fuck your ass until your hemorrhoids bleed!”

The manager, shocked, says, “Look sir, these songs are beautiful, but if you’re going to play in my pub, you cannot tell the patrons the names of your songs.”

“That’s fair,” the man replies.

So later that night, pub is full. Everybody is drinking and dancing to the songs on the piano, having a great time. Eventually, the pianist gets a five minute break, so he rushes to the bathroom to have a pee. In his rush to get back to the stage, he forgets to zip up his zipper.

As he makes his way across the stage, a patron in the first row stops him, saying, “Sir! Do you know your fucking dick is hanging out of your pants?!?!?”

The man smiles, and says, “Know it? I wrote it!!”


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