I ended up hooking up with an older woman at a club last night. She looked OK for a 61-year-old. In fact, she wasn’t too bad at all, and I found myself thinking that she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a bit and had a bit of a snuggle, and then she asked if I’d ever had a Sportsman’s Double.

‘What’s that?’ I asked. ‘It’s a mother and daughter threesome,’ she said. I said, ‘No,’ – excitedly. We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was ‘my lucky night’. I went back to her place. She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: ‘ Mum, you still awake?’

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