My Daddy Plays Piano in a Whorehouse

My Daddy Plays Piano in a Whorehouse

Mrs. Jacobson, a prim and proper, straitlaced lady, is a teacher of Grade Four students. One of the lessons is about the types of different jobs adults have…sort of a “what do you want to be when you grow up” type of lesson.

Part of it was asking the students what their parents do for a living.

“Sally, what does you father do?”

Sally proudly answers, “My Daddy is a Real Estate agent, and he helps people sell the house they own now, and buy a better house.”

“Very good, Sally,” replies Mrs Jacobson. “Jimmy, how about you? What does your father do?”

Jimmy smiles and says, “He works in a laboratory in a hospital and helps the doctors find out exactly how people are sick, so the doctors can help them get better.”

Johnny has been sitting at his desk, shoulders slumped and staring down. He’s asked, but mumbles something incoherent.

“I’m sorry, Johnny, I didn’t hear you. Could you speak up?”

Johnny blurts out, “I said ‘My Daddy plays piano in a whorehouse!'”

Mrs. Jacobson turns white as a sheet, and the whole class goes silent. She marches up to Johnny’s desk, rips a piece of paper from his notebook, and scribbles a few lines.

Folding it, she hands it to Johnny, and firmly commands, “Young man, you take this note down to the Principal’s Office right this minute. Go straight there, and you tell him that I sent you.” She walks briskly to the door and opens it, glaring at Johnny as he meekly walks past her into the hallway.

He enters the Office, and one of the secretaries asks why he’s at the office. “Mrs. Jacobson sent me,” and hands over the note. The secretary reads it, gasps, and takes it into the Principal’s office. She comes back and says, “The Principal wishes to see you in his office, right now.”

Johnny walks into the office, and the Principal tells him to close the door, and take a seat. There is an awkward few moments of silence, as the Principal looks at Johnny, then at the note, then back at Johnny.

The principal asks, “Johnny, your father doesn’t really play piano in a whorehouse, does he?”

“No, Sir.” Johnny admits. “He plays defense for the Cleveland Browns, but there’s no way I’m telling them THAT.”


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