A cat, a dog, and a horse start a band. In this band the dog plays drums, the cat plays guitar and the horse sings. Now, the sound this band was going for was super interesting because they all had widely different tastes. The dog was mainly a jazz guy, centering his drumming technique around greats like Buddy Rich. He grew up listening to the sounds of Herbie Hancock and other Jazz Fusion Artists. The cat, loved technical death metal and trash, his guitar playing centered around the furious riffing of Kirk Hammit and Kerry King. The horse loved blues music, and tried to emulate the smooth vocal inflections of BB King and Screamin Jay Hawkins. Together they made up a very interesting jazz infused thrash metal blues band. There was only one problem. The horse was a terrible singer.
They played a few gigs in New York City where they lived, and even though local music critics praised the cat and dog for their innovative musical arrangements, the general sentiment was that horse didn’t live up to them in terms of raw talent. They called an emergency band meeting and told the horse they had to fire him.
The cat and the dog remained good friends and looked for a new lead singer. They bounced around the NYC club scene for a few months until one fateful night. They hopped in a coffee shop and saw a monkey who was a singer songwriter with killer pipes. He really enjoyed the sophisticated sounds of 70s folk artists like Cat Stevens and James Taylor. They approached him after the show and asked him to join the band. After jamming with them for 20 minutes he’s very impressed and agreed.
Soon enough it became apparent that these guys were destined to take over the world. All over the city word was going around about this incredible new band fusing every corner of music into one amazing new sound.
Before long their first LP was out, and the lead single off of it went straight to number 1 on the billboard Hot 100. They were now superstars ready to embark on a world tour. They saw Europe, Asia, they even played 3 sold out shows in Russia.
Things were going fine, but then like all rock bands that hit superstardom, the in fighting started. The monkey claimed it was his band and he should be getting most of the money. His ego was way out of control, and it was hurting their live shows after awhile. Eventually, in the middle of the show, the monkey threw down his microphone and proclaimed he didn’t need the cat or the dog and left the band to pursue a solo career.
The dog and the cat went back to NYC to regroup. While walking down the street one day, they see something that horrifies them. The horse was laying on the sidewalk, almost passed out, with an empty liquor bottle next to his head. Since being fired from the band, and seeing them go on to fame without him, sent him spiraling into a deep depression that lead him to abusing alcohol.
The cat and the dog felt responsible so they picked him up off the street and brought him to a rehab center. They told him they would pay for his treatment and they wanted him to get clean.
Over the next few months in rehab, the horse actually did start to turn his life around. He found salvation in his lord and savior Jesus Christ. While in rehab, he started to get very serious about becoming a better singer. He worked with a vocal coach, and just 1 year later he had completely sobered up and was a better singer than ever.
He met up with the cat and dog and told them he wanted to jam with them again. They did, and the cat and dog were blown away. It was a complete 180. Suddenly, they were back at it again, playing shows all over the east coast.
Soon enough, they had another album, and were back on the road. The horse was out finally living his dream, after hitting rock bottom, feeling like it would never get better. Life has turned into a dream, the future was bright. That was until tragedy struck….
While driving their bus through Ohio, they were hit head on by an 18 wheeler. The cat and the dog were killed instantly, but miraculously, the horse survived with minor injuries.
The horse returned to New York, his entire reality in pieces. His two best friends, the guys who pulled him out of the worst part of his life and made life worth living again, had been taken from him. He cursed god. Why would he take away from him the 1 chance he had to escape his demons and live the life he wanted to live? He couldn’t bring himself to cope with it all. Sadly, he turned back to booze to cope. He wandered around town, looking for anything to wash away the pain.
Eventually, the horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says…….
Why the long face?
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