Farmer and Little Old Lady
description

Farmer and Little Old Lady

A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn’t do it while he waited, so he said he didn’t live far and would just walk home.

On the way home he stopped at the hardware Store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem – how to carry his entire purchases home.

While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, ‘Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane ?’ The farmer said, ‘Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house I would walk you there but I can’t carry this lot.’ The old lady suggested, ‘Why don’t you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?’ ‘Why thank you very much,’ he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.

On the way he says ‘Let’s take my short cut and go down this alley. We’ll be there in no time..

‘ The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, ‘I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me.. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won’t hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?’
The farmer said, ‘Holy smokes lady! I’m carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?’

The old lady replied, ‘Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I’ll hold the chickens.

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A woman get cheated by on by her husband
description

A woman get cheated by on by her husband

A woman get cheated by on by her husband. Devastated, she doesn’t know how to continue to live her life.

She heard that there’s a very wise monk who lives up in a mountain, and decide to go there to consult him.

After few days of traveling, walking, climbing, she reach the top and meet the wise monk.

“I have spent my whole life with him, my youth was dedicated to support him, take care of him. And now he left me with a young women. My life is stolen, and I’m left with nothing. I don’t know what to do”.

The monk gives her a cookie and asks her to eat it. After she finishes eating, he asks: “Is the cookie delicious?”
“Yes”- she answer.

“Do you want another one?”

“Sure, please”.

The monk looked her in the eyes and said “Do you see the problem now?”

The woman thinks for a while, and then slowly speaks, “I guess human nature is greedy. You got one, then you want more, maybe a new one, bigger one. It’s never enough. And nothing lasts forever, anything is impermanence. We should be aware and not disappointed for that”.

The monk shake his head “No, I mean you are too fat, you should eat less.

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Life sentence
description

Life sentence

Carl is in the 10th year of a life sentence when he gets a new cellmate, Jim. After taking some time to size Jim up and decide that he can trust him, Carl tells Jim about his plan to escape.

“You see, ” Carl says “for the first 5 years I was inside, I trained my digestive system to follow my command. Now I can eat something and it comes out broken down into it’s components.” Jim is skeptical, but intrigued.

Carl continues: “For the last five years, I’ve been swallowing pieces off my uniform. It’s perfect, because the guards just think it’s rats chewing on it.”

So Jim asks, “Well, what does that have to do with me? How can I help?”

Carl says “Well, the pieces of fabric come out as individual fibers. I figure by this time next year, we’ll have enough to fashion enough rope to get over the wall. I just need you to tie the fibers.”

Jim, disgusted, says “You have got to be kidding me!”

And Carl says “I shit. You knot.”

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Son, where are you going
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Son, where are you going

Leaving the house with a hand full of chicken wire. His father said, ‘Son, where are you going?’ The son replied, ‘I’m going to catch some chickens.’

Son, you can’t catch chickens with chicken wire.’ But the son insisted that he knew what he was doing. Later that day, the son came home with two chickens in his hand. The father thought, ‘I guess he knows what he’s doing.’

The next morning, the son got up and was leaving the house with some duck tape. The father said, ‘Son, where are you going?’ The son replied, ‘I’m going to catch some ducks.’ The father yelled, ‘You can’t catch ducks with duck tape!’

The son insisted that he knew what he was doing. Later on that day the son came home with two ducks under each arm. The father thought, ‘Shoot, I guess he does know what he’s doing!!’

The next morning the son got up and was leaving the house with a hand full of pussy willows. The father said, ‘Hold up, son, let me put on my shoes!

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