A couple from Oklahoma have driven their motorhome across the border and are slightly lost.

Naturally the husband is loathe to ask anyone for help, but after a few minutes of his wife nagging, he finally relents.

He exits the motorhome and approaches a friendly looking stranger and asks, ” Excuse me, we seem to be a bit lost, can you tell me where we are?”
“Saskatoon”, says the local.

The Yank is a bit puzzled and asks further, “No, where exactly are we?”

“Saskatoon, Saskatchewan”, the stranger replies.

After a few seconds pause, the Oklahoman says, “Thanks” and heads back to the RV.

“So, where are we?!”, asks his wife.

“I don’t know, he didn’t speak English.”

“””””

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A man is sitting in a cafe when suddenly someone he knows comes running to him in panic shouting

“Quick, your wife is cheating on you with your best friend in the forest”.

The man runs out of the cafe angry and furious to see for himself and returns after a short while and sits back down on his chair. The people in the cafe and the guy that told him are confused and ask what happened.

The man says “this son of a bitch was just exaggerating, firstly, it was just a couple of trees he made it out like it was a forest, secondly, best friend he says?! It turns out I don’t even know the guy”.

“””””

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A woman died and went to heaven.

She got to the pearly gates to find an angel waiting.

“What do I have to do to get in?,” she asked.

“You just have to spell a word” the angel replied.

“That doesn’t sound bad, what word do I have to spell?”
“Love.”

Relieved, the woman quickly fired off “L-O-V-E”. The angel nodded and opened the gate.

Many months passed and one day the angel guarding the gate approached the woman and asked if she would mind watching the gate for the day. The woman agreed and assumed her post. While she’s there, a man approached the gate, and it was none other than her husband!
“Oh, my love!,” she cried, “What has happened to you so soon?”

“My dear, I was a wreck the day you left me. I fell into a deep depression that couldn’t be beaten. When you were in that accident, I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I could do nothing but mourn for you,” he said.

“I hope you eventually were able to move on and not live with that pain for too long,” she consoled.

“Actually,” he replied, “there was a nurse that took wonderful care of you, and me as well! We eventually became very close, and she helped me so much. I eventually asked her to marry me. We were on our honeymoon when I got into a terrible skiing accident. That’s why I’m here! So…what do I have to do to get in?”

“You simply have to spell a word,” she informed him.

“That’s it? What a relief! What word do I have to spell?,” he inquired.

“Baccalaureate.”

“””””

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Two homeless guys are on the street in front of the Vatican.

One has a big cross and the other a star of David.

The pope sees them and stops his whole entourage to go speak to them.

He says to the beggar under the star of David, “my son this is a Catholic country. You’re never going to get any charity with this Jewish emblem above you, especially as the fellow right next to you has a cross above him. In fact, I’ll bet some people would give to him purely to spite you.”

The one beggar turns to the other and says, “hey Moshe, look who’s trying to teach the Goldberg brothers about marketing!”

“””””

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