Jamen and Bonnie are Dating

It’s 1957 and Jamen has been dating Bonnie a couple weeks. Jamen drives to pick her up for another date.

Bonnie’s father answers the door and invites him in. He asks Jamen what they’re planning to do on the date.

Jamen politely responds that they’ll probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie.

Bonnie’s father suggests, “Why don’t you kids go out and screw? I hear all of the kids are doing it.”

Jamen is shocked. “Excuse me, sir?”

“Oh yes, Bonnie really likes to screw. She’ll screw all night if we let her.”

Bonnie comes downstairs and announces that she’s ready to go.

About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Bonnie rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, and screams at her father, “Dad! The Twist! It’s called the Twist!”

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Beautiful Big Bubble Butt

A young woman named Buffy buys a mirror at an antique shop from a gypsy, and hangs it on her bathroom door.

One evening, while getting undressed, Buffy playfully says “Mirror, mirror, on my door, give me a beautiful big bubble butt“.

Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her butt grow into a perfect round firm booty.

Excitedly, she runs and sceams at her husband “Look at my beautiful big butt!” She then tells hi what happened, and in minutes they both return.

This time the husband crosses his fingers and says “Mirror mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!”.

Again, there’s a bright flash…and his legs fall off.

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A little boy with cussing problem

A little boy was sitting on Santa’s lap in the mall and he told Santa, “I want a fuckin’ skateboard under my bed, a fuckin’ bike in the garage, and a fuckin’ train-set under the tree.”

Santa said, “OK,” and went over to the little boy’s parents. Santa told them, “If you really want to stop all that cussing, put a pile of dog shit everywhere he wants a present.”

So Christmas morning came around and the little boy looked under the bed, there was dog shit. He looked in the garage, dog shit. He looked under the tree, dog shit.
So later on, he’s walking down the street, pissed off with his hands in his pockets, and another kid runs up to him and says, “Hey, what did you get for Christmas?!”

The little boy replied, “I think I got a fuckin’ dog but I can’t find the damn thing.”

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Obsessed with Queen’s Big Breasts

Once upon a time there lived a beautiful Queen with magnificent big breasts.

Dugly, the Dragon Slayer, obsessed over the Queen’s big boobs. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death, should he try to touch them, but he had to try.

One day Dugly revealed his secret desire to his colleague, George the Erudite lawyer, the King’s chief adviser. George thought about this and said that he could arrange for Dugly to more than satisfy his titty desire, but it would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause, Dugly readily agreed to the scheme.

The next day, George got a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen’s bra while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense.

Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, George informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and George advised that only the saliva of Dugly would work as the antidote to cure the itch.

The King, eager to help his Queen, quickly summoned Dugly to their chambers. George then slipped Dugly the antidote for the itching powder, which he put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Dugly worked passionately on the Queen’s large and magnificent breasts. The Queen’s itching was eventually relieved, and Dugly left satisfied and hailed as a hero.

Upon returning to his chamber, Dugly found George demanding his payment of 1000 gold coins. With his breast obsession now satisfied, Dugly couldn’t have cared less knowing that George could never report this matter to the King and with a laugh told him to get lost.

The next day, George slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King’s underwear. The King immediately summoned Dugly.

The moral of the story : Pay your lawyers bills properly!

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