Karen goes to the doctor
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Karen goes to the doctor

Karen goes to the doctor not feeling well.

Karen: Doctor, I’ve not been feeling well lately.

Doctor: I’ve looked at your lab reports and I’m afraid I have some bad news.

Karen: Don’t give me this lab nonsense. I believe in homeopathic medicine, faith-based approaches and healing crystals. All my life, they have never failed me. Now will you do things my way or do I need to see the manager?!?

Doctor: Sure, we’ll do things your way. No need to raise your temper. Why don’t we try an astrology based approach?

Karen: At last a sensible approach.

Doctor: So, what’s your star sign?

Karen: it’s cancer.

Doctor: Well what a fucking coincidence.

“””””

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Buddhist monk arrives at the monastery
description

Buddhist monk arrives at the monastery

A new Buddhist monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other Buddhist monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that they are copying copies of the original books.

So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this, worried that there may be errors The head monk says, “We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.”

So, the old monk goes down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original. Hours later, nobody has seen him. So, one of the monks goes downstairs to look for him. He hears sobbing coming from the back of the cellar and finds the 75 year monk leaning over one of the original books crying. He asks, “what’s wrong”.

“You fuckers”, he says, with anger and sadness in his eyes, “the word was celebrate!”

“””””

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Three English men spotted an Irish man
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Three English men spotted an Irish man

Three English men were in a bar and spotted an Irish man. One of the guys said he was going to bug him.

He walked over to the Irish man and tapped him on the shoulder. “Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a real tosser.”

“Oh really, hmm, didn’t know that.”

Puzzled, the English man walked back to his buddies. “I told him St. Patrick was a tosser and he didn’t care!”

“You just don’t know how to set him off. Watch and learn.”

The second English man walked over and tapped the Irish man on the shoulder. “I hear your St. Patrick was a wanker!”

“Oh, wow, I didn’t know that, thank you.”

Shocked beyond belief, the English man went back to his buddies. “You are right, he is unshakable!”
The third English man said: “No, no, no, I will really bug him, you just watch.”

The English man walked over to the Irish man, tapped him on the shoulder and said: “I hear your St. Patrick was an Englishman!”

“Yeah, that’s what your buddies were trying to tell me.”

“””””

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