After having the 10th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough since they could not afford another kid.

So the husband went to his doctor and told him the he and his wife didn’t want to have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem, but it was expensive.

A less costly alternative, said the doctor, was to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it, put it in a empty beer can and then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The guy said to the doctor, “I may not be a smart man, but I don’t see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me.” He wanted a second opinion so he visited a doctor in Georgia.
That doctor began to speak of a vasectomy, but seeing his patient was from Alabama, he told him to go home and get a cherry bomb light it and put it in a empty beer can and then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

Since the second doctor told him of the same procedure of the first doctor he decided that it MUST work. So the man went home, lit the cherry bomb and put it in the beer can.

He held the can up to his ear and began to count: “1,2,3,4,5” at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.

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2 college students accidentally miss the math final exam. The next day they both went to plead with their professor. He was feeling pretty good that day so he allowed them to retake it. He told them to both come back tomorrow for an oral exam. When they both showed up he told one of them to wait outside while he tests the other. So one enters and the other puts his ear to the door to listen. The professor begins asking the question:

“You are riding in a train cart and you get too hot. What do you do?”

The student replies “I open the window.”

“Ok. Now that window is 2 feet wide and 3 feet high. The train is traveling 50 mph going north and the wind is blowing at 15 mph due east. How long will it take for new air to replace the old air in the cart?”
The student is clearly confused at this impossible question and just answers “I don’t know”. So the professor gives him an F, dismisses him, and calls in his friend.

He begins asking his friend “you are riding in a train cart and it gets too hot. What do you do?
He says “I take my jacket off.”

“Ok. But its still too hot. What do you do?”

“I take my shirt off.”

“I understand but its very, very hot.”

“I will just get naked.”

“Ok. But there’s a guy in front of you getting a hard on by watching you strip naked!”

The student replies: “Professor, the entire train can fuck me in the ass I am NOT opening that window!”

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A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of tits are there?”

The father, surprised, answers, “Well son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm.

In her 30s and 40s, tits are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50 the boobs are like onions.”

“Onions?” the son asks. “Yes, you see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter.

The daughter asks, “Mum, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles, and says, “Well dear, a man goes through three phases also.

In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After 50 it’s like a Christmas tree.”

“A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes,” the mother replies, “dead from the root up, the balls are just for decoration and it only goes up once a year.”

“””””

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A woman goes to see the doctor with complaints of a low sex drive. She tells the Dr “My husband wants me to get medicine so I’ll want sex as much as he does”, Doc tell her no problem he will give her the same hormone pills the Olympic weightlifting team uses . He confidently explains, “all of them want to have sex multiple times a day”

2 months later the woman returns to doctor in tears: “Now I want sex all the time but my husband doesn’t want to have it with me, because I’ve grown hair on my chest.”

The surprised doctor asks her: “How far does the hair go down?”

Woman replies: “All the way to my balls. That is another thing I wanted to talk you about”

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