There is nothing worse than a doctors receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this guy handled it.

A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.

The Receptionist said, ‘Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?’

‘There’s something wrong with my dick’, he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, ‘You shouldn’t come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that. ‘

‘Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,’ he said.

The Receptionist replied; ‘Now you’ve caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.’

The man replied, ‘You shouldn’t ask people questions in a roomful of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, ‘Yes??’

‘There’s something wrong with my ear,’ he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.. ‘And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?’

‘I can’t piss out of it,’ he replied.

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A man dies and goes to hell. There, he finds that there is a different hell for each country.

He goes to the German hell and asks,

“What do they do there?”

He is told: “First, they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day.”
The man doesn’t like it, so he moves on and checks out the American hell, the Russian hell and hells of other countries.

He finds that they’re all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Brazilian hell and finds that there is a long queue of people waiting to get in.
Amazed, he asks, “What do they do here?”

He is told: “First, they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Brazilian devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day.”

“But that is exactly the same as all the other hells; so why are so many people waiting to get in here?” wonders the man.

He is told, “Because the maintenance here is so bad that the electric chair does not work. Someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the Brazilian devil is a former government servant, so he just comes, signs the attendance register, and then goes to the canteen.”

“””””

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As a trucker stops at a red light, a woman catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says “Hi, my name is Heather and you’re losing some of your load.”

The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they’ve never spoken, the blonde says brightly, “Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!”

Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the woman gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says “Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!”

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde’s car. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says “Hi, my name is Kevin, it’s Winter in Iowa and I’m driving the SALT TRUCK!”

“””””

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