Month: August 2022

A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.’What’s up?’ he says.’I’m having a heart attack,’ cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he’s dialing. his four-year-old son comes up and says, ‘Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted’s hiding in your wardrobe and he’s got no clothes on!’

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the wardrobe floor.’You jerk,’ yells the husband, ‘my wife’s having a heart attack and you’re running around with no clothes on scaring the kids!’

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“Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to the counter, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, “Your mom’s the best sex in town!”

Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, “I just did your mom, and it was sw-eeeeet!”

Again, the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, “Your mom liked it!” Finally, the guy interrupts. “Go home, dad, you’re drunk.”

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