The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence

Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad’s farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not ‘fascinating’.”

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”

Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”

The teacher sat down and cried.

“””””

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A farmer buys a young cock. As soon as he gets it home it fucks the farmer’s all 150 hens. The farmer is impressed. At lunch, the cock again screws all 150 hens.

Next day, it’s fucking the ducks and the geese too. It screws all 150 hens to finish the day.

The day after, the farmer sadly finds the cock lying on the ground half-dead and vultures circling overhead.
Farmer says, “you deserved it, you horny bastard!”

The cock opens one eye, points up and says, “Shhhhhh. They’re about to land!!”

“””””

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A man is sleeping next to his wife, when he hears a loud knock on his door.

He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it’s 3 AM.

“I’m not getting out of bed at this time”, he thinks, and rolls over.

Then, a louder knock follows.

“Aren’t you going to answer that?” says his wife.

So he drags himself out of bed, and goes downstairs.

He opens the door and there is man standing at the door.

It didn’t take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.

“Hi there,” slurs the stranger, “can you give me a push?”

“No, get lost, it’s 3 AM. I was in bed,” says the man and slams the door.

He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says, “Dave, that wasn’t very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man’s house to get us started again? What would have happened if he’d told us to get lost?”

“But the guy was drunk.” says the husband.

“It doesn’t matter.” says the wife.

“He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him.”

So the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs.

He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts, “Hey, do you still want a push?” and he hears a voice cry out “Yeah please.”

So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts, “Where are you?”

And the stranger replies: “I’m over here, on your swing.”

“””””

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