Omar Epps moved next to Chris Hemsworth. Initially they didn’t talk much, but after a little time they started having family get-togethers. They became good friends for a while, even going so far as to have little decoration challenges every holiday.

Omar always pulled out all the stops come Christmas, and he seemed to enjoy it so much that, often, Chris would concede and just admire his neighbor’s over-the-top yuletide spirit.

But one year, Chris felt like upping the ante and properly competing. So instead of doing a large spread of house decor, Chris commissioned the construction of an enormous lawn ornament.

The next evening, Omar looked across the lawn and gasped–there, standing taller than a house, was a towering statue of Thor, colorfully lit and dressed like an elf.

He laughed it off as ridiculous and tacky, but to his surprise it was drawing much more attention, from strangers and neighbors alike, than his own festive manor.

More than a little disgruntled that he was no longer the talk of the HOA, he made his irritation known at dinner. Curious, his oldest daughter went over to see this titan in person.
Later that night, Chris awoke to his children’s shouts. He ran to the window and saw his beautiful Elf Thor flaming. The fire department came, but too late, as the damage was done and the magnificent creature destroyed.

Chris checked the cameras and saw what looked like a teenager approaching the statue, but before he could make out who it was, the feed cut. All footage past this point was corrupted.
Distraught, he reached out to Omar and admitted how important it was to him to win the decor war just one year, and he just wished he could find out who this kid was. Omar consoled him as best he could, but now worried he was going to have to confront his daughter….

He knocked on her door and asked her to be honest with him. She scoffed, and pulled up the house security on her laptop. Sure enough, there she was, walking back to the house only 10 minutes after leaving to see the statue. According to the CFI, the fire started over an hour later.

We may never learn the truth, but we know one thing for certain: Epps’ teen didn’t kill Hems’ elf.

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Three women died and found themselves standing at the Pearly Gates.

Saint Peter said to the first woman, “How many men did you sleep with in life?”
The first woman said, “I only slept with one man: my husband. And I didn’t sleep with him until after we were married.”

Saint Peter turned to the angel standing next to him and said, “Give her the key to the Silver Room.”
The angel gave the woman a silver key, and the woman went into Heaven with the key.

Then Saint Peter said to the second woman, “How many men did you sleep with in life?”
“I remained a virgin my whole life, for I was a nun and I devoted my life to God.”

Saint Peter turned to the angel and said, “Give her the key to the Golden Room.”
The angel gave the woman a golden key, and the woman went into Heaven with the key.
Then Saint Peter said to the third woman, “How many men did you sleep with in life?”

“I slept with 13 men before I started dating my husband, 35 men while we were dating, 49 men while we were engaged, 56 men while were were married, and 28 men after he died.”
Saint Peter turned to the angel and said, “Give her the key to my room.”

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A husband and wife in their sixties were coming up on their 40th wedding anniversary. Knowing his wife loved antiques, he bought a beautiful old brass oil lamp for her. When she unwrapped it, a genie appeared.

He thanked them and gave each of them one wish. The wife wished for an all expenses paid, first class, around the world cruise with her husband. Shazaam! Instantly she was presented with tickets for the entire journey, plus expensive side trips, dinners, shopping, etc.

The husband, however, wished he had a female companion who was 30 years younger. The genie smiled and… Shazaam! Instantly he turned 93 years old.

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On the first day, he sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, he had the movers come to collect his things.

On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; he put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.

When he’d finished, he went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar into the hollow center of the curtain rods.

He then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

On the fourth day, the wife came back with her new boyfriend, and at first all was bliss.

Then, slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the place.
Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked! People stopped coming over to visit.

Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.

Finally, they couldn’t take the stench any longer, and decided they had to move, but a month later – even though they’d cut their price in half – they couldn’t find a buyer for such a stinky house. Word got out, and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

Then the ex called the woman and asked how things were going. She told him the saga of the rotting house. He listened politely and said that he missed his old home terribly and would be willing to reduce his divorce settlement in exchange for having the house.

Knowing he could have no idea how bad the smell really was, she agreed on a price that was only 1/10 nth of what the house had been worth … but only if he would sign the papers that very day.

He agreed, and within two hours her lawyers delivered the completed paperwork.

A week later the woman and her boyfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home ………………. and just to spite the ex-husband, they even took the curtain rods!!!

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