A couple’s young daughter went to college. After 6 months she happily let them know she was engaged to a student who is studying to be a pastor, and is bringing him home for the holidays.

And after the introductions the father and the boy sat and the father asked: ” How old are you?”
Fiance:”19″

Father: “And where are you going to live?”

Fiance: “God will provide.”

Father: “And where are you going to get money?”

Fiance: “God will provide.”

Later that night the mother asked the father: “What do you think of him?”

And the father: “He seems to be a nice guy, he thinks I am God.”

“””””

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A farmer sells his horse for $2000 to a buyer at the market. The farmer initially promises to deliver the horse to the man in a week, but halfway through that week, the horse dies.

The farmer offers to return the money, but the man decides to proceed with the purchase. In the following week, the farmer encounters the man and inquires about the fate of the deceased horse.

The man reveals that he organized a lucky draw, charging $50 per entry for a chance to win a horse, and 100 people participated, generating $5000.

When asked if anyone was upset about the horse, the man explains that only the winner was disappointed, but he refunded that individual’s $50.

“””””

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A man was travelling the countryside with his 8-year-old daughter. One particularly stormy night they were forced to take shelter in a local mansion owned by a lonely widow. The widow was happy to receive guests and was very hospitable for the two weary travellers.

The next morning the father said to his daughter:
“I have to take care of some business in the nearby town. Mrs. Sterling has kindly agreed to look after you while I’m gone. I will be back tomorrow morning. Promise to be good while I’m gone.”

“Yes father, I promise”, the little girl said, though deep down she was nervous to spend the night in the big house without her father.

Nighttime came and the widow took the little girl to her room upstairs. But not an hour had passed when the lady heard crying from the little girl’s room.

“What is it, my sweet child? Did you have a nightmare?” The widow inquired softly.

“There is someone in this room. Behind the curtains. I’m scared”, the girl whimpered pitifully.
The widow walked to the window and pulled the curtains aside.

“See? There is no one here. It was probably the draft moving the curtains as this is a very old house. Now be a good little girl and go back to sleep.”

But only a short moment had passed when the widow once again heard cries from the little girl’s room.
“My sweet child, what is it now?”

“There is someone here, I swear! I saw it in the corner. It’s a ghost”, the little girl whimpered in her bed.

“There is no one here but you and me, dear. It is probably just shadows from the old oak tree outside playing tricks with your eyes. Your father will be back with us first thing tomorrow morning. Now for the last time, be a good little girl and try to get some sleep.”

An hour passed and the widow was woken up by a knock on her door. She saw the little girl standing outside in her nightgown weeping pitifully.

“For heaven’s sake child! It’s past midnight and you should be fast asleep! What is it now?” The widow asked, exasperated.

“I saw the ghost again, miss! It won’t let me sleep. Can I come sleep next to you?”

“Now listen to me carefully, child. I have lived in this house for 389 years and not once have I seen a ghost! Now for the last time, go back to bed and try to get some sleep.”

“””””

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When I was thirteen, I dreamed of having a girlfriend who had huge tits someday. I had a big titted girlfriend when I was sixteen, but she lacked passion, so I decided I needed a passionate female who was full of life.

I dated this really passionate lady in college, but she was too sensitive. She was a drama queen who constantly wept and made suicide threats, so everything was an emergency. I concluded that I needed a girl who was stable.

At the age of 25, I met a very steady girl, but she was uninteresting. She never got thrilled about anything and was very predictable. I decided I wanted an exciting female because life had become so boring.
When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn’t keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition

I married a brilliant, ambitious woman when I was 30 because she had her feet firmly on the ground. Because she was so driven, she got a divorce from me and grabbed everything I had.

I am older and wiser now, and I am looking for a girl with big tits.

“””””

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