A farmer buys a young cock. As soon as he gets it home it fucks the farmer’s all 150 hens. The farmer is impressed. At lunch, the cock again screws all 150 hens.

Next day, it’s fucking the ducks and the geese too. It screws all 150 hens to finish the day.

The day after, the farmer sadly finds the cock lying on the ground half-dead and vultures circling overhead.
Farmer says, “you deserved it, you horny bastard!”

The cock opens one eye, points up and says, “Shhhhhh. They’re about to land!!”

“””””

Loco Domains has .com domains for only $9.99.

A man is sleeping next to his wife, when he hears a loud knock on his door.

He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it’s 3 AM.

“I’m not getting out of bed at this time”, he thinks, and rolls over.

Then, a louder knock follows.

“Aren’t you going to answer that?” says his wife.

So he drags himself out of bed, and goes downstairs.

He opens the door and there is man standing at the door.

It didn’t take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.

“Hi there,” slurs the stranger, “can you give me a push?”

“No, get lost, it’s 3 AM. I was in bed,” says the man and slams the door.

He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says, “Dave, that wasn’t very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man’s house to get us started again? What would have happened if he’d told us to get lost?”

“But the guy was drunk.” says the husband.

“It doesn’t matter.” says the wife.

“He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him.”

So the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs.

He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts, “Hey, do you still want a push?” and he hears a voice cry out “Yeah please.”

So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts, “Where are you?”

And the stranger replies: “I’m over here, on your swing.”

“””””

Loco Domains has .com domains for only $9.99.

She unrolled her towel, removed her clothes, and lay down in her bikini. She looked to her left and saw an absolute knockout of a woman lying on her towel, reading a novel.
?
“This woman is absolutely gorgeous,” thought Linda. “She’s the hottest woman I’ve ever seen. With my luck, she’s a lesbian too. I should start up a conversation.”
She turned to the woman and asked, “What sort of stuff do you like?”
“I like plants,” replied the woman.
“Do you like sunflowers?”
“Yes.”
“Do you like pine trees?”
“I like them too.”
“Do you like pussy willow?”
?
Suddenly, without warning, the woman tore off her bikini. Then she leapt onto Linda’s towel and ripped off hers. Linda was shocked at first, but then realized that this was exactly what she had wanted. So, the two women rolled around, making passionate love, and were inevitably kicked off the beach.

As Linda drove home, she thought to herself, “How did that lady know I was a lesbian?”
As the other woman drove home, she thought to herself, “How did that lady know my name was Willow?”

“””””

Loco Domains has .com domains for only $9.99.

A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the old saying, “You can’t take it with you.” After much thought and consideration, the old ambulance-chaser finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died.

He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases. He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed.

His plan: When he passed away, he would reach out and grab the bags on his way to heaven. Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased lawyer’s wife, up in the attic cleaning came upon the two forgotten pillowcases stuffed with cash.

“Oh, that old fool,” she exclaimed. “I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement.”

“””””

Loco Domains has .com domains for only $9.99.