Joke of the Day – Talk like a frog
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Joke of the Day – Talk like a frog

A little boy turned to his grandpa and said, “grandpa, talk like a frog.”

The Grandpa replied “What?, I’m not going to talk like a frog!”

The little boy again asked, “come on, Grandpa talk like a frog please.”

Grandpa again said “No! Go bother your grandmother.”

The little boy finally gave up and left.

A little while later the little boy’s sister came in and said “Grandpa will you talk like a frog for me?”

Grandpa of course replied, “NO!”

The little girl then said “Please grandpa will you talk just like a frog”?

Grandpa was very disturbed by now and said, “what is it with you and your brother, why in the world do you want me to talk like a frog?”

The little girl looked at her grandpa and said “Well last night daddy told us that when you croak we are going to go to Disney World.”

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Joke of the Day – New ceo
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Joke of the Day – New ceo

A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means business!

The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, “And how much money do you make a week?”

A little surprised, the young fellow looks at him and replies, “I make $300.00 a week. Why?”

The CEO then hands the guy $1,200 in cash and screams, “Here’s four weeks pay, now GET OUT and don’t come back!”

Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks, “Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?”

With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, “Pizza delivery guy from Domino’s.”

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Joke of the Day – Door to door salesman
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Joke of the Day – Door to door salesman

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

“Good morning,” said the young man. “If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.”

“&&** off!” said the old lady. “I haven’t got any money” and she tried to close the door.

Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open.

“Don’t be too hasty!” he said. “Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.” And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse poop all over her hallway carpet.

“If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse poop from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.”

“Well,” she said, “I hope you’ve got a mighty good appetite, because the electricity was cut off this morning.”

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Joke of the Day – Breakfast chores
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Joke of the Day – Breakfast chores

A little boy comes down for breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he has done his chores.

“Not yet,” said the little boy.

His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he’s a little ticked off, so when he feeds the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. When he feeds the cows, he kicks a cow. When he feeds the pigs, he kicks a pig.

He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.

“How come I don’t get any eggs and bacon, and why don’t I have any milk in my cereal?” he asks.

“Well,” his mother says, “I saw you kick a chicken, so you don’t get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don’t get any bacon for a week either. I saw you kick the cow so for a week you aren’t getting any milk.”

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen.

The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, “You gonna tell him or should I?”

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