A blonde walks up to a clerk in a store and says, “I would like to buy a toaster.”

“I’m sorry but we dont sell toasters to blondes.” replies the clerk.

Upset, the blonde storms out of the store. She goes home, dies her hair red and goes back to the store.

“I would like to buy a toaster,” says the blonde to the same clerk.

“I’m sorry but we don’t sell toasters to blondes.” replies the clerk.

Even madder than the last time, the blonde storms out of the store. The next day she dies her hair a chocolate brown and drives to the store. She walks up to the same clerk and says, “I would like to buy a toaster.”

“I’ve told you already!” growls the clerk, “We do NOT sell toasters to blondes!”

Quite angry by now, the blonde goes home and dies her hair purple. she drives to the store, walks up to the clerk and says, “I would like to buy a toaster.”

“Listen lady, we don’t sell toasters to blondes. Now go home!”

Raging with anger the blonde asks, “Why don’t you sell toasters to blondes?!”

“Well, this is the sports section of the store!”

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Albert Einstein used to go to dinners where he was invited to give a speech. One day, on his way to one of those dinners, he told his chauffeur (who looked exactly like him) that he was dead tired of giving the same speech, dinner after dinner.

“Well,” said the chaffeur, “I’ve got a good idea. Why don’t I give the speech since I’ve heard it so many times?”

So Albert’s chauffeur gave the speech perfectly and even answered a few questions. Then, a professor stood up and asked him a really tough question about anti-matter which the chauffeur couldn’t answer

“Sir, the answer to your question is so easy that I’ll let my chauffeur answer it!”

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a red head goes to the doctor and says ” Doc my body hurts all over !!” the doctor says ” well lets see ” so the red head touches her elbow and screams in agoney, then she touches her forehead and screams again , the doctor finaly says ” your not a red head are you ?” ” NO i am really a Blonde ” she replys, ” I thought so , its not your body thats in pain,, YOUR FINGER IS BROKEN ”

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A man had just bought a talking parrot from the pet store but when he gets home the bird keeps swearing at him, after a while the man gets a bit fed up and says to the bird “if you keep that up I’ll put you in the fridge!” “F#$@ you” says the bird, so the bloke chucks him in the fridge.
Ten minutes later he checks on the bird and asks “have you learnt your lesson?” the bird replies “no I fuckin havent” so the bloke decides to chuck him in the freezer for more punishment.
After another 10 minutes he opens the freezer to check on the bird, and the bird says warily “what’d the f#$kin chicken do??”

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