A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, “Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.”

“I know,” the old man said. “We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago.”

“Well,” Granny snickered. “Let’s relive some old times.”

Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.

“You know, honey,” the little old lady breathlessly replied, “My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” replied Gramps.

“One’s in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal.”

“””””

Loco Domains has .com domains for only $10.99!

A horny gorilla sees a lion bent over a small stream, taking a drink

The gorilla runs up behind the lion, grabs on, and has his way with him. The gorilla then takes off running, with the very angry lion on his heels. As they run through the jungle, the gorilla gets a bit of a lead, and sees a British safari camp ahead.

The gorilla enters the camp, grabs some khakis that are hung out to dry, and puts on pants, a shirt, and a hat. He sits on a chair by the campfire and grabs a copy of the local paper, pretending to read, to hide his face.

The lion enters the campsite and lets out a huge roar. He yells, “did anyone see a gorilla run through here?”

The gorilla, in full disguise, calls out, “you mean the one that fucked the lion up the ass?”
The lion exclaims, “oh my god! It’s in the paper already?”

“””””

Loco Domains has .com domains for only $9.99.

A local bar was so confident, that their bartender was the strongest man in town…

So they offered a standing $1,000 bet.

The challenge was for the bartender to squeeze a lemon until all the juice was in a glass, then hand the lemon to a patron.

Anyone who could squeeze out just one more drop of juice would win the money.

Over time, many had tried (weightlifters, longshoremen, etc.), but no one succeeded.

One day, a scrawny little man wearing thick glasses and a cheap suit walked in and said in a tiny, squeaky voice, “I’d like to take the bet.”

After the laughter subsided, the bartender agreed, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed it dry.
He then handed the wrinkled remains to the little man.

To everyone’s astonishment, the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass.
As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid him $1,000 and asked, “What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weightlifter or what?”

The man replied, “I work for the IRS.”

“””””

Gay Bodybuilder Dating for muscular men is at GayFitDating.com , meet someone with a sixpack today!

A Jewish dad was worried about his son, who was about a year away from his Bar Mitzvah but didn’t know much about their faith. To help, he sent his son to Israel to get in touch with his roots. A year later, the son came back and said, “Dad, thanks for sending me to the land of our ancestors. It was amazing and eye-opening, but I have to tell you, while I was in Israel, I converted to Christianity.” The dad exclaimed, “Oi vey, what have I done?”

Following tradition, he went to his best friend for advice and comfort. His friend said, “It’s incredible that you’re telling me this. I also sent my son to Israel, and he came back a Christian.”

So, they both went to see the Rabbi. The Rabbi said, “It’s unbelievable that you’re telling me this. I also sent my son to Israel, and he returned a Christian. What’s happening to our sons?” The Rabbi then said, “Brothers, we need to take this to God.” They all fell to their knees and started praying and pouring out their hearts to the Almighty.

As they prayed, the clouds parted, and a powerful voice said, “It’s amazing that you’re coming to Me. I also sent My Son to Israel.”

“””””

Messianic Matchmaker at MessianicMatchmaker.com to meet Messianic Jewish women and men.