A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer,” the man began “I can explain.” “Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.”

“But officer, I just wanted to say…” “I said to keep quiet! You’re going to jail!”

A few hours later the officer looked n on his prisoner and said, “Lucky for you that the chief’s at his daughter’s wedding. He’ll be in a good mood when he gets back.” “Don’t count on it,” answered the fellow in the cell. “I’m the groom.”

……………..

Get rid of cellulite ! Buy Cellulite Reduction today!

TRY TO FIGURE IT OUT WITHOUT LOOKING AT THE ANSWER.

It took the Division of Motor Vehicles 6 months to figure out and revoke this lady’s personalized license plate:

3M TA3

Can you tell why? See answer below.

FIGURED IT OUT YET???????????????????????????

THOUGHT YOU WERE SMART, HUH?

HERE IS THE ANSWER………….

It spells EAT ME in someone’s rear view mirror.

On Christmas morning, a cop on horseback was sitting at a traffic light. Next to him was a kid on his shiny new bike.

The cop said to the kid, “Nice bike you’ve got there. Did Santa bring that to you?”

The kid said, “Yeah.”

The cop said, “Well, next year tell Santa to put a taillight on that bike.” The cop then proceeded to issue the kid a $20 bicycle safety violation ticket.

The kid took the ticket, but before he rode off he said, “By the way, that’s a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?”

Humoring the kid, the cop said, “Yeah, he sure did.”

The kid said, “Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top.”

……………..

Get rid of Acne ! Buy Acne Control today!

John and Steve were high school buddies. They have not seen each other since they both went to college. Five years went by and they ran into each other at a bar.

John spotted Steve first, “Hey Steve!” “Hey John! Long time no see!” John was surprised that Steve spoke smoothly without stutters–Steve has been stuttering since he was a child. “How did you fix your speaking?” “I went to the doctor and he said that if I speak really slow, I won’t stutter! Did you hear? I almost got married!” “How did you ALMOST get married?”

“Well, I was sitting on the front porch with my fiance and the dog was sitting there too and he was scratching his back! Although I have to speak slow, I said to my wife: When we’re married YOU can do that for me and then I pointed to the dog. But, because I talk so slow, by then he was licking his balls!”

……………..

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com