There was a businesswoman who just made a million dollars for an Arabian Oil Sheik. When she was leaving the Oil Sheik offered her Diamonds and rubies and a Silver-plated Rolls Royce, but she declined.

The Sheik insisted so she said that she just started to golf and maybe a set of golf clubs would be nice.

A few weeks later she received a telegram from the sheik.

“So far I have bought you 3 golf clubs. I hope you aren’t disappointed that only 2 of them have swimming pools.”

……………………

Also check out FreshPersonals.com for great dating sites!

Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end and put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

Lady 1: What’s that?
Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn’t get wet.
Lady 1: Where did you get it?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely she is, after all, over 80 years of age, but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.

Lady 1: Doesn’t matter son, as long as it fits a Camel.

The pharmacist fainted.

……………………

Also check out FreshPersonals.com for great dating sites!

 While the Pope was in St. Louis he decided to grant absolution to three sinners. The first person to come up was Richard Nixon.

The Pope asked, “What is your sin?”

“I hired people to break into the Watergate Hotel.”

The Pope replied, “Kneel down. I’ll bless you and grant you absolution.”

Next in line was Bill Clinton. “What was your sin, son?”

“I cheated on my wife.” The Philanderer in Chief replied.

“Kneel down, my son. I’ll bless you and grant you absolution.”

A third person came up and the Pope asked, “What is your name?”

“Monica Lewinsky.” The Pope stroked his chin. “Hmmmm….. Perhaps you should remain standing.”

——-

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com

Two girls and a guy are trespassing in a farmers field, and the farmer catches them, and decides to take them to court. During the next month, they go to court, and the farmers lawyer asks the first girl.

“What were you doing during the time you was inside that field.”

The girl replies… “i was blowing bubbles.”

The next girl was asked the exact same question, and she replied:

“Blowing bubbles”

The lawyer then goes on to the man and says “let me guess, you were blowing bubbles too.”

And the man replies:

“No, i am bubbles!”

——-

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com