2 college students accidentally miss the math final exam

The next day they both went to plead with their professor. He was feeling pretty good that day so he allowed them to retake it. He told them to both come back tomorrow for an oral exam. When they both showed up he told one of them to wait outside while he tests the other. So one enters and the other puts his ear to the door to listen. The professor begins asking the question:

“You are riding in a train cart and you get too hot. What do you do?”

The student replies “I open the window.”

“Ok. Now that window is 2 feet wide and 3 feet high. The train is traveling 50 mph going north and the wind is blowing at 15 mph due east. How long will it take for new air to replace the old air in the cart?”

The student is clearly confused at this impossible question and just answers “I don’t know”. So the professor gives him an F, dismisses him, and calls in his friend.

He begins asking his friend “you are riding in a train cart and it gets too hot. What do you do?

He says “I take my jacket off.”

“Ok. But its still too hot. What do you do?”

“I take my shirt off.”

“I understand but its very, very hot.”

“I will just get naked.”

“Ok. But there’s a guy in front of you getting a hard on by watching you strip naked!”

The student replies: “Professor, the entire train can fuck me in the ass I am NOT opening that window!”

“””””

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An ancient Chinese joke, at least a thousand years old. A man visits his sick friend, and finds him to now be well and energetic. “How wonderful!”, his friend says, “What happened?”. “Dr. Chang is the cause of my health.”, he says gratefully.

“Dr. Chang, what did he do?”. “Well, Dr. Li came and gave me a special diet. And I got sicker. Then Dr. Wong came and gave me bitter herbs, and I got even worse. On death’s door I called for Dr. Chang.” “And what did Dr. Chang do?”, his friend asks in wonder. The man replies happily, “Dr. Chang did the best of all, he didn’t come, so I got well!”

“””””

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A lawyer is out for a drive when he gets violently sideswiped, seemingly out of nowhere.

A police officer arrives at the scene to take his statement, but the driver keeps ranting on and on about the damage to his car.

“My beautiful BMW! The god-damned door was torn right off!”

The police officer rolls his eyes and says “You lawyers are so materialistic it makes me sick. Here you are, going on about your precious car, and you didn’t even notice your left arm was torn off in the crash.”

The man looks down at the bloody stump, and with mounting horror, exclaims, “My Rolex!”

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A little girl wants to take her dog for a walk, so she asks her mother whether she can take Lulu for a walk around the block.

Her mother says “No, sweetie. Lulu is in heat”. “What does that mean?”, asks the girl. “Go and ask your father in the garage”, says the mother.

So the girl goes to her father in the garage and asks “I want to take Lulu for a walk, but mum says she’s in heat and to ask you about it”.

The father takes a rag, pours some petrol on it, and then rubs Lulu’s backside with it, to disguise the scent. “Now you can take her for a walk”, he says. “Just don’t let her off the leash, and she’ll be fine”.
So the little girl skips happily away with Lula trotting along beside her.

The girl returned a few minutes later with an empty leash, and no Lulu.

Concerned, her dad asked “Where’s Lulu?”

The girl replied “She ran out of petrol halfway around the block, so the neighbours dog is giving her a push home”.

“””””

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