My mate broke his leg so I went to see him at home. I walked in and what do I see? He had two gorgeous older sisters, and they’re TWINS ! I had never met them before, apparently they live at the uni and were visiting.

Anyway, so I went up to my friend’s room, “How are you mate?”
“Yeah I’m okay. But do me a favour mate. Go fetch my socks from downstairs. My feet are freezing.” he tells me.

So I rushed downstairs and found his two sisters perched up on the couch, right where his socks lay.
I say to them, “Your brother has sent me down here to have sex with both of you”

They respond “Get away with ya… Prove it.”

I shouted upstairs, “Hey, mate! Both of them?”

He shouted back “Of course both of them! What’s the point in fucking one?”

“””””

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3 brothers own a cow, which suddenly dies. The cow being almost a part of their family and a major income source for the family, the 3 brothers become very heartbroken and decide to commit suicide in the river. So they approach the river and are almost about to jump in when a fairy comes out of the river.

Fairy: “If anyone of you is able to satisfy me sexually, I’ll bring the cow back from the dead.”

Brother 1 takes her into the jungle and comes back with her after 1 hour. The fairy says she’s not impressed.

Brother 2 takes her into the jungle and comes back with her after 3 hours. The fairy says she’s still not impressed.

Now brother 3 takes her into the jungle and comes back with her the next day after almost 24 hours.

The fairy clearly exhausted and almost dead, says to the other 2 brothers, “I’m giving your cow back. Your brother is just insane. I haven’t seen such raw sexual stamina before.”

“Well”, one of the brother replies, “How do you think the cow died?”

“””””

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Two economists are walking in a forest when they come across a pile of shit.

The first economist says to the other “I’ll pay you $100 to eat that pile of shit.” The second economist takes the $100 and eats the pile of shit.

They continue walking until they come across a second pile of shit. The second economist turns to the first and says “I’ll pay you $100 to eat that pile of shit.” The first economist takes the $100 and eats a pile of shit.

Walking a little more, the first economist looks at the second and says, “You know, I gave you $100 to eat shit, then you gave me back the same $100 to eat shit. I can’t help but feel like we both just ate shit for nothing.”

“That’s not true”, responded the second economist. “We increased the GDP by $200!”

“””””

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A Chinese Doctor can’t find a job in a Hospital in the US, so he opens his own clinic and puts a sign outside reading ‘GET TREATMENT FOR $20 – IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100.’

An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.
Lawyer: “I have lost my sense of taste.”

Chinese: “Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 14 and put 3 drops in patient’s mouth.”
Lawyer: “Ugh. this is kerosene.”

Chinese: “Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me my $20.”

The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to try to recover his money.

Lawyer: “I have lost my memory. I can’t remember anything.”

Chinese: “Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 14 and put 3 drops in his mouth.”

Lawyer (annoyed): “This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste.”

Chinese: “Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20.”

The fuming lawyer pays him, then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.

Lawyer: “My eyesight has become very weak I cannot see at all.”

Chinese: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that, so take this $100.”

Lawyer (staring at the note): “But this is $20, not $100!”

Chinese: “Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20”

“””””

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