The US ambassador was meeting the North Korea ambassador.

During the meeting, wanting to impress the Korean, the American ambassador started boasting.

“Last week, I was in London. I met the Olympic 1000 metres gold medallist.

The previous week, I was in Brussels. I met the world’s leading mathematician.

The week before, I was in Paris. I shook hands with the most beautiful supermodel in the universe.

A few days earlier, I was in Rome. I had lunch with the most accomplished chef who ever lived.

From there, I went to Zurich, where I got an autograph from the best composer in the world!”

The Korean ambassador nodded humbly. “Yes, our Supreme Leader has been travelling a lot recently.”

“””””

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Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give?

Farmer: Which one? The Black one or the brown one?

Interviewer: Brown one.

Farmer: A couple of litres per day.

Interviewer: And the black one?

Farmer: A couple of litres per day.

Interviewer(naturally a bit flummoxed): I see. What do you give them to eat?

Farmer: Which one? Black or brown?

Interviewer: Black.

Farmer: It eats grass.

Interviewer: And the other one?

Farmer: Grass.

Interviewer(now annoyed) : Why do you keep asking which one when the answers are the same?!

Farmer: Because the black one’s mine.

Interviewer: Oh, and the brown one?

Farmer: It’s also mine.

“””””

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Four men are at a high school reunion catching up. When one of them had to go to the bathroom, the other three start talking about how successful their sons are.

Guy 1: My son is so successful, he’s a millionaire who owns a car dealership and just gave his best friend a Ferrari.
Guy 2: That’s nothing, my son is a millionaire who owns an airliner and just gave his best friend a private jet.

Guy 3: Yea? Well, my son is more successful than that: he is a millionaire who owns an architectural firm and he just gave his best friend his own castle.

The 4th guy comes back from the bathroom and asks

Guy 4: What are you guys talking about?

Guy 2: Oh, we’re talking about how successful our sons are.

Guy 4: Well my son is a gay stripper.

Guy 3: Wow, you must be disappointed with what he’s done with his life.

Guy 4: Actually, he is doing pretty well for himself. He just got a Ferrari, a jet and a castle from his 3 boyfriends.

“””””

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There is a little boy and a little girl in the woods. The little girl asked the boy, “What is a penis?”

The boy replied, “I don’t know.” At that time he hears his mom calling him for lunch. He goes home and eats his lunch.

Then he sees his dad on the couch. He goes up to his dad and asks him, “What is a penis?” The dad whips his out and says to the boy, “This is a penis, as a matter of fact this is the perfect penis.”

The boy leaves to go find his friend and brings her to the woods. The girl again asks him what a penis is. He whips out his penis and says to her, “This is a penis, and if it was two inches smaller it would be the perfect penis!”

“””””

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