A frustrated Housewife goes to the doctor . “Doctor, you have to help me. I’ve been married 30 years to my husband and I feel he’s lost all interest in me. You know, phisically speaking. He barely looks at me, let alone have sex with me. Oh, I really miss the good old times where we had wonderful sex multiple times a week, there must be something you can do to help me…”

“Well, it’s not very ethical, but there’s this experimental drug we need to test” the doctor takes a vial from a drawer “this is a very potent aphrodisiac. Just one drop in a glass of water is enough to awaken the libido of a dying man. When you feel it’s a special night and you want to have sex with your husband, try and pour one drop in his glass, and I can guarantee that you will see a new life in him”
“Oh thank you doctor, thank you so much. Tomorrow it’s our anniversary, what better night to try it out?”

Two days pass. The morning after the fated night, the Housewife goes back to the doctor. She appears disheveled, barely being able to walk.

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The Wine Taster at an old vineyard died. A Homeless Guy, Looking Ragged And Dirty, Came To Apply. He Persuaded The Manager To Give Him A Try.

The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped and spit. “It’s a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels.” He said. “Impressive,” said the manager.
The man is given another. “Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in a steel vats.”

The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said. “It’s a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don’t get this job, I’ll tell who the father is!”

“””””

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A man who had spent his whole life in the desert visited a friend. He’d never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the RR tracks, he heard a whistle, but didn’t know what it was. Predictably, he’s hit and is thrown, ass-over-tea-kettle, to the side of the tracks, with some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises.

After weeks in the hospital recovering, he’s at his friend’s house attending a party. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the teakettle whistling. He grabs a baseball bat from the nearby closet and proceeds to batter and bash the teakettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen, sees what’s happened and asks the desert man, “Why’d you ruin my good tea kettle?”
The desert man replies, “Man, you gotta kill these things when they’re small.”

“””””

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Dugly was 40 years old, but still a virgin. He tried everything possible to get laid, but to no avail. So as a last resort, he decided to pray to the angels up in heaven.

He made it a habit of praying, before going to bed. 10 years passed and on his 50th birthday, an angel appeared before him and Dugly told the angel what he wanted. The angel replied “You see Dugly, I’m just a Tier 3 angel, and I don’t have the authority to grant such wishes”, and then disappeared.

Dugly wasn’t discouraged one bit. He continued his praying rituals.10 more years went by,and on his 60th birthday, another angel appeared and Dugly presented his wish. The angel replied, ” You see Dugly, I’m just a tier 2 angel and I don’t have the power to grant such wishes”, and then disappeared.

Dugly was steadfast in his quest. He continued his praying rituals, and on his 70th birthday another angel appeared. Dugly by now was a desperate man.Age had caught upto him and he could hardly get erections.It was now or never.

He was almost in tears and told the angel “I’ve been praying to angels for the past 30 years, and the last two angels who appeared before me couldn’t help me out; You are my last hope”
The angel replied “Dugly, you have nothing to worry about. I am a Tier 1 angel, and I can grant you any wish”.

Dugly was thrilled to hear this and told the angel his wish
” I’m 70 years old and yet I haven’t had the pleasure of bedding a woman. I wish with all my heart that I don’t die a virgin”.

The angel smiled, and with a small snap of her finger, granted his wish.
Dugly was immortal now.

“””””

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