An older gentlemen with some money in his pocket was heading down an old country dirt road with peddlers and wares dealers every few miles.

He runs across a man with several of the biggest roosters he’s ever seen, at a price even better. He has to have one, so he says “Sir! Sir! I must have one of those roosters!” The peddler replies, “I’m happy to sell you one, but in the business, we call them cocks.” The man notes this, and continues on his way.
Another mile or two down, he spots another peddler, a female, this time with many young hens, again the most prolific the man has ever seen. “Ma’am! Ma’am!,” he says. “I must have one of those hens!” She replies, “Absolutely sir, but in the business, we call them pullets.” Again, the man makes a note of the accepted vernacular, and continues on his way.

A third peddler has set up shop a little further down, this time with the most muscled donkey he has ever seen. For the third time in as many stops, the man exclaims, “I must have it. Please, sell me this donkey!” The peddler replies, “I would be happy to, but we call them asses around here, not donkeys. Additionally, this one is a little tricky. He has a habit of sitting during traveling, and will only respond if you give him a little tickle.” The man makes another mental note of the details, and continues on his way.
After another 45 minutes, the ass sits down in the middle of the road. Remembering the advice about tickling him, the man looks for a way to secure the rooster and hen while he does the job, but struggles to find a solution. He sees a young woman walking adjacent to his position, and calls to her.

“Ma’am! Ma’am! I’m so sorry to bother you, but I need your help terribly. We’ve been going on for a while and I think I might lose my mind. Can you please, PLEASE, hold my cock and pullet while I tickle my ass???”

“””””

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A man was drowning his sorrows at the bar. A beautiful woman sat down beside him and asked, “What is wrong?”

He said: “My wife just left me because I am too kinky in bed.”

The lady gasped, “My husband left me for the same reason!”

A few drinks later, they end up at her place and she says: “I’m going to the bathroom to change into something ‘more comfortable.’

Ten minutes later, she comes out, dressed head to toe in latex with a whip, but the man is headed out the door. She asks: “Where are you going?! I thought you wanted to get kinky!?”

He said, “Hey lady, I’ve already fucked your dog and shit in your purse. I am going home!”

“””””

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I met my wife at a swingers party.

I said, “You should be home looking after the kids!”

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The wife and I went to a swingers night.

However, when we got there the only other people to turn up were my mum’s sister and her husband.

Turned out to be a bit of an aunty climax.

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I went to this swingers party and tossed my keys into a bowl.

I thought I had hit the jackpot when this hot big titted sultry blonde picked them out.

I never saw my BMW again.

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There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting. He said, “Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it’s completely gone now. My hair can’t be saved. But look outside at the forest. It’s such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they’ll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair.”

“What I want you to do…” the man continued. “Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family’s duty to keep this forest strong.”
So they did.

Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.

And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.

“””””

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