A man is walking in the street and sees a women with the most beautiful big tits he’s ever seen.

He walks up to her and asks: “If I give you $500, will you let me bite your boob?”

Then women, quite shocked, obviously says no. The man then asks if he can bite her tits for $1,000. The women still says no. The man asks for $5,000, $10,000, $20,000 but the women still refuses. He finally makes his last offer: $100,000 dollars to bite the breasts.

The women, after hearing such a gigantic amount of money accepts to let the man bite her tits.

They go into a small dark street and the women takes her top off.

The man plunges his head into the beautiful breasts and starts playing with them.

The women, starting to get impatient, says: “Are you going to bite it or what?” He then answers: “No, it’s too expensive”

“””””

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A patient walks into an optometrist’s office.

The optometrist starts the eye exam and casually asks her if there’s any particular reason she came in for a checkup.

“Doctor, I think am having hallucinations. Every time I open my eyes, I see really dark things. Evil. Malice. Hatred. Plague. I am seeing the worst in everything. Nothing looks like it used to. It’s as if everything I see is shrouded in darkness.”

The optometrist sits back from the patient, confused.

“That’s interesting,” he said, “because from what I can tell, you see 20/20.”

“””””

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Three dinosaurs are running across the desert when they stumble across a magic lamp.

They rub it, and a genie appears.

“I have three wishes, so I’ll give one to each of you,” the genie announces.

The first dinosaur thinks hard.

“Alright,” he says, “I’ll have a big, juicy, piece of meat.”

Instantly, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he’d ever seen appears in front of him.

Not to be outdone, the second dinosaur thinks even harder.

“I know! I’ll have a shower of meat!”

Immediately, huge pieces of meat rain down around him.

The third dinosaur, certainly not to be outdone, thinks harder than the previous dinosaurs.

“I’ve got it!” he cries, “I want a MEATIER shower!”

“””””

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A guy was admitted to the hospital and he fell in love with the nurse.

She used to take care of him and very nice to him. Always checking up on him and giving him extra attention compared to other patients. Therefore, the guy thought that the nurse was into him as well.

The guy was shy and couldn’t ask the nurse out on date. But after he was discharged, he somehow managed to get the number of the nurse and messaged her: “Hi, I’m the patient you looked after. I’ve been thinking about it and I think you’ve stolen my heart”.

The nurse didn’t reply for two days and the patient was sure that he won’t be getting any reply from her.
Then out of the blue, she replied: ” Whatever you are accusing me of is not true. We only took one kidney out”.

“””””

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