An Englishman, a Scotchman, and an Irishman walk into a bar

They each order a beer. The barkeep brings them each a beer, and there happens to be a fly in each one.

The Englishmen, a bit put off, says “Sir there’s a fly in my beer, I’ll need a fresh one please.”

The Scotchman, undeterred shrugs and says “I won’t be letting a fly ruin me enjoying my beer!” and he chugs his.

The Irishman is enraged and grabs the fly by the wings and yells “SPIT IT OUT YE BASTARD!”

^^^^^^

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Two Blondes are out on a hike when one looks down and sees some tracks.

“Hey look, deer tracks!” she exclaims.

The other blond looks over and says, “Those aren’t deer tracks! Those are rabbit tracks!”

After about 10 minutes of bickering about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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A man is treated by a psychiatrist because he thinks that he is a mouse. After weeks of counselling he is pronounce healed and finally believes he isn’t a mouse.

Shortly after leaving the psychiatrist’s office he runs back in and screams: “Doctor, there’s a cat on the street!”

The psychiatrist replies, “I thought we were past this, you are not a mouse!”

The man answers, “but did anyone tell the cat?”

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A man phoned his wife from the office, “Honey, I have the chance to go fishing for a week. It’s the opportunity of a lifetime, but I have to leave right away. Pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and especially my blue silk pajamas. I’ll be home soon to pick them up.” He rushed home to pick up his things, hugged his wife, apologized for giving her such short notice and hurried off. When he returned a week later, his wife asked, “Well, dear, did you have a good fishing trip?” “I sure did,” he replied. “The fishing was great, but you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas.” “No, dear, I didn’t,” the wife replied with a sly smile. “I put them in your tackle box!”

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