Three men find themselves at a beach-side resort hotel in the Caribbean and they soon begin to discuss their lives and how they came to be there.

The first man says, “I use to run a successful business in the Mid West. One day unfortunately there was a huge fire and my entire warehouse burned to the ground. I collected the insurance on it and decided to move here.”

The other two nod, slightly sympathetically.

The second man says, “Similar story here. I used to run a jewelry store back in LA, but unfortunately one night there was a massive break in. I collected the insurance that I had on the jewelry and moved down here to settle.”

They look at the third guy. He says, “I used to run a small fishing business on the East Coast. Last year unfortunately the entire thing was ruined by a hurricane. I collected my insurance and moved here.”

The first two guys look at each other for a minute. Finally, one says, “How do you start a hurricane?”

——-

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A tourist walks into an English pub.

While he is waiting for his beer, he notices to rather big women next to him talk in a strange accent.

He walks up to them and says:

“Excuse me, I can’t quite put my finger on your accent — are you two ladies from Ireland?”

They get outraged and snap back: “It’s Wales, you idiot!”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Are you two whales from Ireland?”

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An old farmer was walking down the path to the pond when he spotted a bullfrog.

He reached down and grabbed the frog and started to put him in his pocket when the bullfrog said, “Kiss me on the lips and I will turn into a beautiful farmers wife.”

Again the old farmer started to put the frog in his pocket.

The frog asked, “Didn’t you hear what I said?”

The farmer looked at the frog and said,” At my age I’d rather have a talking frog.”

——-

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A man had a girlfriend named Wendy. He decided to get a tattoo of her name on his penis. When erect, it read “Wendy”, and when flaccid, all you saw was “W” and “Y”.

Out for dinner one day, he excused himself to the bathroom and went to the urinal, next to him was a Jamaican man. The man took a gander at the Jamaican’s member and realized it had “W” and “Y” tattoo’d on it as well.

He looked at him and said: “So you’re girlfriend’s name is also Wendy?”

The Jamaican replied: “Nah man, it says: Welcome to Jamaica, have a nice day.

“““““

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