A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.

“Hey, son! May I ask you a question?

Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”

The boy licked his cone and replied,

“Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”

“““““

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com

Three Engineers are having an argument.

The first says: “God must be a mechanical engineer — just look at the joints in the human body.”

The second says: “God is an electrical engineer — just look at the nervous system.”

The third says: “God has to be a civil engineer — who else would run a waste disposal pipeline through a perfectly good recreational area?”

“““““

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com

A nun and a priest are crossing the Sahara on a camel. On the third day, the camel dies with little warning. As they dust themselves off, the nun and priest appraise their situation. After a long silence, the priest asks:

‘Well, sister, this looks to be pretty serious.’
‘I know, father. As a matter of fact, I don’t think it’s likely for us to survive more than a day or two.’
‘I agree’ affirms the priest. ‘Sister, since we likely won’t escape here alive, could you do something for me?’
‘Anything, father.’
‘I haven’t seen breasts and I was wondering if I could see yours.’
‘Well… under these circumstances, I don’t see anything bad in it…’

The nun undresses and the priests was content, commenting on their beauty:

‘Sister, do you mind if I touch them?’

She agrees, so the priest feels them up for several minutes.

‘Father, may I ask you something?’
‘Certainly!’
‘I haven’t seen a penis. Can I see yours?’
‘I think it would be alright’ responds the priest, lifting his robe.
‘Oh, father, can I touch it?’
The priest agrees and after a few minutes of fondling he finds himself with a pretty serious erection.

‘You know, sister, if I introduce my penis in the right place, it can give life.’
‘Is this true, father?!’
‘Yes, it is, sister.’
‘Oh, father, that’s wonderful! Then stick it in that camel so we can get the fuck out of here!’

——-

Catholic & Christian Dating websites to find love at DatingVille.com

Three men are standing at the pearly gates. St. Peter tells them, “As you all know God has a sense of humor and his latest idea is to put the Kingdom of Heaven several hundred miles from the Pearly Gates.” “How is that supposed to be funny?” one guy asks. “Well, God had the novel idea of allowing those admitted into Heaven a vehicle to travel that distance, but the quality of your vehicle is based upon how faithful you were to your spouse.” Knowing they can’t argue and that God obviously knows all, the men begin confessing their infidelity.

“I admit I screwed around behind my wife’s back, but I broke it off with the girl before my wife found out.” One man admits. “Very well,” St. Peter responds and gives him a standard bicycle. The guy shrugs and feels a little better confessing. The second man says with a grin, “I’ve never actually cheated on my wife.” St. Peter raises a skeptical brow. “Okay… There was one time, but it was technically before we were married! I was drunk and I didn’t know what I was doing but I’ve never been unfaithful after that!” With a heavy sigh St. Peter grants the second man a car–but in terrible condition. The third man says proudly, “I’ve never been unfaithful. Never.” The other two stare at the third in disbelief. “No, he’s right.” St. Peter confirms. “He’s been faithful the whole time. In fact he lost his virginity to his wife.” The other two men gape in jealous amazement as the third man is granted a brand new sports car.

The third man obviously can make it down the long, glittering highway toward the Kingdom of Heaven faster than the other two. However, the first man on the bicycle finds the third man pulled over not too far down the road. Perplexed, he rides to the sports car and finds the man sobbing into his steering wheel. “What’s wrong, wise-guy, is this Italian muscle too much for you?” he gloats. “No…” the third man tries to gain composure. “It’s not that… The car is beautiful!” “Then what’s your problem?” “I just passed my wife and she was on rollerskates!”

“““““

Cheater Dating at CheaterAds.com to have a discreet affair.