“A Chinese man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 2000 yuan and walked out with $317.
The following week, he walked in with another 2000 yuan, and was handed $287.
He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week.
The teller said, “Fluctuations.”
The Chinese man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, “Fluc you Amelicans, too!”
“““““
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Joe was talking to his buddy.
“I don’t know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I’m stumped.”
His buddy said, “I have an idea. Why don’t you make up a coupon that says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it. She’ll probably be thrilled!”
So, Joe did just that.
The next day his buddy asked, “Well, did you take my suggestion? How’d it turn out?”
“She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling, ‘I’ll see you in two hours!'”
“””””
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A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day.
“In English,” he said, “a double negative forms a positive. In some languages though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative.
However,” he pointed out, “there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.”
A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah. Right.”
“““““
The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had had enough.
“Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is?” he said. “I will bet a week’s wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that building that you won’t be able to wheel back.”
“You’re on, old man,” the young guy replied.
The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then he turned to the young man and said, “All right. Get in.”
“““““
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