It was entertainment night at the Senior Center.

Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: “I’m here to put you into a trance;
I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.”
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful
antique pocket watch from his coat. “I want you each to keep your eye on
this antique watch. It’s a very special watch. It’s been in my family for
six generations”

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly
chanting, “Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch. . .”

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth,
light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs eyes followed the
swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist’s fingers and
fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

“SHIT!” said the Hypnotist.

It took three days to clean up the Senior Center.

“““““

Visit Senior-Dating.com for the best Senior Dating online.

A dude takes his hot blonde girlfriend to a pro football game for the first time.

After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game.

Oh, I really liked it, she said, but I just couldn’t understand though why they were beating each other up for 25 cents.

Suprised, the boyfriend asked, what do you mean?

The blonde girlfriend replied, all they kept screaming was: “Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!”

_______

Visit IntimateAdults.com for Adult Dating, if you’re looking for a dicreet releationship this is the site for you !

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.

Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, “Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?”

He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd. He glared at me and started Writing another ticket for having worn tires.

So my wife called him a dick-head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes.

The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, we didn’t care. We came into town by bus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Get HP Coupon Codes for you holiday shopping at CouponKid.com

Gary and Janice are both mental patients. One day Gary jumps into the swimming pool but, doesn’t come up for air. Quick as a flash, Janice sees her friend in trouble, so dives in and pulls him out.

Later, the hospital director calls Janice into his office and sayes ‘Janice, Ive got some good news and some bad news. The good news is, we are releasing you as you are obviously sane ‘saving anothers life’. But unfortunately, the bad news is that Gary hanged himself in the bathroom …’

‘Oh no’ Janice replies, ‘that’s where I put him to dry !’

“““““

Check out 007pills.com for Cialis, Propecia and more! Visit the Web Pharmacy.