Joke of the Day: Genie

One day a man was walking along the beach and found a bottle. He looked around and didn’t see anyone so he opened it. A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out.

The genie said, “For your kindness I will grant you a wish, but only one.”

The man thought for a minute and said, “I have always wanted to visit Hawaii but have never been able to because I’m afraid of flying and ships make me seasick. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii.”

The genie thought for a minute and said, “No, I don’t think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved: the pilings needed to hold up the highway, how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement that would be needed. No, that is just too much to ask.”

The man thought for a minute and then told the genie, “Well, there is one other thing that I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand my girlfriend. What makes her laugh and cry, why is she temperamental, why is she so difficult to get along with? Basically, what makes her tick?”

The genie considered for a few minutes and said, “So, do you want two lanes or four?”

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Joke of the Day: Making love

Husband always insisted on making love in the dark.

After 20 years wife turns on the light, finds him holding a vibrator.

She goes balistic, “You impotent bas*ard! How could you lie to me all these years?”

Husband looks her straight in the eyes & calmly says, “I’ll explain the toy, you explain the kids…..”

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Joke of the Day: Little Johnny

Little Johnny’s dad is sitting on the side of the bed rolling on a condom about to give his wife some.

Little Johnny sticks his head in the door, sees his dad and says, “Whatcha doin’ Daddy?”

Johnny’s dad stoops over to cover up his dick and starts looking at the floor. “Oh, I’m just looking for this big rat I saw.” he says.

Little Johnny asks, “Whatcha gonna do, fuck it?”

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