An older couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married.

Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.

They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on.
Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.

“How do you feel about sex?” he asked, rather tentatively.

“I would like it infrequently “, she replied. The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, then leaned over towards her and whispered, “Is that one word or two?”

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(Little Johnny arrives at school 30 minutes late)

teacher asked : Why are you late for school?

Johnny: Because of the Sign.

Teacher : What Sign?

Johnny : The sign that says “School ahead go slow”

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A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street.

However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.
After watching the boy’s efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy’s position.

He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a sold ring.
Crouching down to the child’s level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, “And now what, my little man?”

To which the boy replies, “Now we run!”

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A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor’s dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours.

The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, “I’ve had enough of this”.

She goes downstairs.

The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, “The dog is still barking,
What have you been doing?”

The blonde says, “I put the dog in our backyard, let’s see how THEY like it!

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