A graduate with a Science degree asks, “Why does it work?”
A graduate with an Engineering degree asks, “How does it work?”
A graduate with an Accounting degree asks, “How much will it cost?”
A graduate with a Law degree asks, “Who gave it a permission to work?”
A graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, “Would you like fries with that?”
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Two employees for the gas company were at a house call. The younger man said to the older one, “Geez, you’re old!”
“Yeah, that may be so, but I can still outrun you,” replied the older employee.
“How about a foot race to see if your’e right,” said the younger employee.
With that they start running at full speed around that block. The older man kept up with the younger man around the first corner, the second corner, the third corner. As they come up on the last corner, the younger man sees an eldery woman running as fast as her legs could carry her. Puzzled by this, they both stop ask her why she was running behind them.
The old woman caught her breath and said, “Well, you were at my home checking my gas meter, and when I saw you running away, I figured I’d better run too!”
“““““
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Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say, “Jesus is watching you!”
Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.
“Jesus is watching you,” the voice boomed again.
The robber stopped deadagain. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.
He asked the parrot, “Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?”
“Yes,” said the parrot.
The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, and asked the parrot, “What’s your name?”
“Clarence,” said the bird.
“That’s a stupid name for a parrot,” sneered the burglar. “What idiot would name a parrot Clarence?”
The parrot said, “The same idiot who named the Rottweiller Jesus.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Billy Ray and Bubba were talking one afternoon when Billy Ray tells
Bubba, “Ya know, I reckon I’m ’bout ready for a vacation. Only this
year I’m gonna do it a little different!
The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years
ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Betty Ann got pregnant.
Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Betty Ann got
pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Betty Ann
didn’t get pregnant again.”
Bubba asks Billy Ray, “So, what you gonna do this year that’s
different?”
Billy Ray says, “This year I’m taking Betty Ann with me.”
“““““
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