A mother and father took Little johnny to a nude beach. As the boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had boobs bigger than his mother’s, and asked her why.

She told Little johnny, “The bigger they are the dumber the person is.”

Little johnny, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger willies than his dad. His mother replied, “The bigger they are the dumber the person is.”

Again satisfied with this answer, the boy returns to the ocean to play.

Shortly after, the boy returned again. He promptly tells his mother, “Daddy is talking to the dumbest girl on the beach and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets.”

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An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, “What is this, Father?” The father [never having seen an elevator] responded “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don’t know what it is.”

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction.

The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24-year-old woman stepped out. The father said to his son, “Go get your mother.”

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A drunk in a bar pukes all over his own shirt, which was brand new before he came in. Damn, he says. I puked on my shirt again. If the wife finds out, shes gonna kill me.

Not to worry, says the bartender as he sticks a $20 bill in the drunks pocket. Just tell her someone puked on you and gave you some cash to cover the cleaning bill.

So the drunk goes home and tells his wife about the guy who puked on him. She reaches into his pocket and finds two twenties. Why are there two twenties? she asks.

The drunk replies, Oh, yeah, he crapped in my pants, too.

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A koala walks into a bar one night, slams his paw down on the table, and orders a drink. When he’s done, slam goes his paw again for more. This goes on for about half an hour, and just when he was going to do it again, the barkeep told him if he was looking for a good time, there was some one in the back room who could help him, the koala decides why not and goes into the back room. There he meets a prostitute who is waiting for him. That night he has the best sex he has ever had. After the prostitute turns to the koala and says, “How about my money,” the koala looked confused and the prostitute brought out a dictionary and it said…PROSTITUTE: Has sex for money.

So in response the koala turn to the definition for the koala and it says. KOALA: Eats bush and leaves.

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