Joke of the Day: it hurts

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A blonde girl walks into a doctor’s office. She gets in the room with the doctor and says, “Doc, I hurt all over.” The doctor is really confused. He says, “What do you mean, you hurt all over?” The blonde says, “I’ll show you.”

She then touches herself on her left leg. “OW!!! I hurt there.” Then she touches her earlobe. “OW!!!!!! I hurt there too!” Then she touches her hair. “OW!!!!! EVEN MY HAIR HURTS!” So the doctor sits back and thinks on it for 5 min. Then he says, “Tell me, is blonde your natural hair color?” The blonde says “Yes, why?”

The doctor says, “Well, you got a broken finger…”

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Joke of the Day: Never paid

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A man in a bar had a couple of beers, and the bartender told him he owed 4 dollars.

“But I paid, don’t you remember?” said the customer.

“Okay,” said the bartender. “If you say you paid, you did.”

The man then went outside and told a friend that the bartender couldn’t keep track of his customers’ bills. The second man then rushed in and ordered a beer. When it came time to pay he pulled the same stunt.

The barkeep replied, “If you say you paid, I’ll take your word for it.”

Soon the customer went into the street, saw an old friend, and told him how to get free drinks.

The man hurried into the bar and began to drink high balls when, suddenly, the bartender leaned over and said, “You know, a funny thing happened in here tonight. Two men were drinking beer, neither paid and both claimed that they did. The next guy who tries that is going to get punched right in the nose.”

“Don’t bother me with your troubles,” the final patron responded. “Just give me my change and I’ll be on my way.”

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Joke of the Day: Randy was being mugged

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Randy was being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet.

Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said “Why did you put up such a fight?”

To which Randy promptly replied “I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!”

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Funniest people on twitter

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List of the Top 10 funniest people to follow on twitter

@NickGenius – Very funny twitterer, be ready for lots of drinking and sex talk.

@ShitMyDadSays – Twitterer that was so funny he got a book deal and TV show

@RobHuebel – Sick and twisted musings of sketch comedy genius Rob Huebel

@DarthVader the Dark Lord on twitter

@DannyDeVito – Danny DeVito is awesome, he keeps posting photos of his foot a different locations.

@CobraCommander – Very funny character

@The_IronSheik – The Iron Sheik is crazy funny.

@TheSulk – Very funny writer for Family Guy and the Cleveland Show

@Edgar_Allan_Poe – Clever & Funny

@EliBraden – Poking fun of pop culture