Joke of the Day: husband Sam is missing

A lady calls the police to report her husband Sam is missing. The police arrive and ask for a description. She tells them he’s 6 foot 4 inches tall, blonde wavy hair and has a smile that makes everybody love him. The police then go to the next door neighbor to verify this report and the lady next door tells the police, “You can’t believe her. Sam is really 5 foot 3 inches tall, has no hair and he wears a perpetual frown on his face.” The neighbor then goes and asks the lady why she gave the police such a false report. She replies, “Just because I reported him missing, doesn’t mean I wanted him back!”

“““““
Loco Domains has .com domains for only $10.99!

Joke of the Day: A little girl

A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to
the barber chair while her dad gets his hair cut….she is eating a snack
cake… the barber smiles at her and says, “Sweetheart, you’re gonna get
hair on your twinkie.”

“I know, “she replies. “I’m gonna get boobies, too.”

“““““

Get bridesmaids gifts and all wedding products at BrightWedding.com

Joke of the Day: Mommy Test

I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.

“Why?” my daughter asked.

“Because it’s been on the ground, you don’t know where it’s been, it’s dirty, and probably has germs” I replied.
At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, “Mommy, how do you know all this stuff, you are so smart.”

I was thinking quickly. “All moms know this stuff. It’s on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don’t let you be a Mommy.” We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.

“OH…I get it!” she beamed, “So if you don’t pass the test you have to be the daddy.”

“Exactly” I replied back with a big smile on my face.

——-

Get HP Coupon Codes at CouponKid.com to save money online !

Joke of the Day: A guy walks into a bar

A guy walks into a bar with his Pet Monkey Key-Key. He orders a drink and while he’s drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. Key-Key grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just did?” The guy says, “No, what?” “He just ate the cue ball off my pool table – whole!” says the bartender. “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replies the patron. “He eats everything in sight, the little twerp. I’ll pay for the cue ball and stuff.” He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he’s in the bar again, and he has his monkey Key-Key with him. He orders a drink and Key-Key starts running around the bar again.

While the man is drinking, the Key-Key finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. “Did you see what your monkey did now?” “Now what?” asks the patron. “Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!” says the barkeeper.

“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replies the patron. “He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!”

“““““

Marine Dating  We bring together single members of the Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force, Coast Guard, Police Force, and Firefighters — as well as civilians, veterans.