A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks andNeeds to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500.

The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan.

The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blond for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, “Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.

What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”

The blonde replies, “Where else in New York City can I park my Car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”

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There’s a hitch-hiker waiting for a ride, and then a semi comes along, and the driver decides to pick him up. So after a couple of minutes of silence, the truck driver asks, “Hey, wanna see a trick?”

“Sure,” replies the hitch-hiker. So the driver calls up a monkey from the back, smacks it, and it gives him a blowjob.

“Hey, you want some of this action?” asks the driver, and the hitch-hiker replies, “Sure, just don’t smack me so hard.”

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One Day, Norma Elizondo Had an idea about making homemade water. So She Decided to make a glass to have her housemaid Eva Taste Test. She had made it successfully, and handed the glass to Eva. Eva Took a Sip and spit it out on the floor. Eva Complained about how Acidic the water tasted. Norma says “It shouldn’t be. It came fresh from my stomach and up through my mouth!”

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A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband — who was a big burly man — tossed his trousers to his bride and said, “Here, put these on.”

She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. “I cant wear your trousers,” she said.

“That’s right, said the husband, “and don’t you ever forget it. I’m the man who wears the pants in this family.”

With that she flipped him her panties and said, “Try these on.”

He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps. “Hell,” he said. I cant get into your panties!”

She replied, “That’s right, and that’s the way its going to stay until your attitude changes.”

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