A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for Social Security.

The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver’s license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. “I will have to go home and come back later.” The woman says, “Unbutton your shirt.” So he opens his shirt revealing curly silver hair. She says, “That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me” and she processed his Social Security application.

When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the social security office. She says, “You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.”

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Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very
attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m completely nude.”

With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, “Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!” As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed… “YES! YES! I WON, I WON!” She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly
departed…

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, “What did she roll?” The other answered, “I don’t know – I thought you were watching.”

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Nina lived in Manhattan. Nina’s younger sister, Rosey, came in from college to spend a weekend with her sophisticated sister. Nina had even arranged a date for Rosey with one of her friends, George.

After a lovely dinner and a show, George and Rosey went to George’s apartment for a nightcap. They talked and listened to soft music for a while and then George suggested they retire to the bedroom.

“Oh, no,” Rosey protested. “I don’t think my sister would like it.”

“Nonsense,” said George as he gently took her arm. “She loves it.”

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one day a small cat was sitting hungry by a river when a small chipalata sausage came flowing past….the cat used his paw to get the chipalata and managed to not even get it wet. The cat was happy! The next day the day was equally as hungry when a larger sausage came flowing past in the river, the cat dipped its paw in to get the sausage and only got its paw marginally wet, the cat was happy! The next day the cat was absolutely starving when a massive frankfurt wopper came flowing past..the cat dipped his paw in to get it but fell in! However the cat retrieved the sausage and was happy. the moral or the story is………….the bigger the sausage….the wetter the pussy!

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