There was these newly weds that were both virgins and nervous about the wedding night. Finally when it came the wife took off all of her clothes and went under the covers while her husband took off his clothes one by one. First he took off his socks and his toes were messed up. His wife says “what happened to your toes?” He says “I had toelio”. She says “you mean Polio”, but he said, “no, toelio”. Then he takes off his pants and the wife sees that his knees are all banged up and weird. The wife says “what happened to your knees?” He says “I had Kneaseles”. And she says “you mean Measles” and he says “no, Kneaseles”. Finally he took off his underwear and she says “Let me guess…small cox?”

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There was a Japanese who went to India for sightseeing. On the last day, he hired a cab and told the driver to drive to the Airport.During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, Honda, very fast! Made in Japan !!!.

After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi and again the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan! And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!

The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars.
Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was 800 rupees. !!!!

The Japanese exclaimed, What??…. so expensive! There upon, the driver yelled back, Meter, Made in India VERY VERY FAST !!!!!

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An elderly woman went to her local doctors office and asked to speak with her doctor. When the receptionist asked why she was there, she replied, Id like to have some birth control pills.

Taken back, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, Excuse me, Mrs. Glenwood, but youre 80 years old. What would you possibly need birth control pills for?

The woman replied, They help me sleep better.

The doctor considered this for a second, and continued…. How in the world do birth control pills help you sleep?

The woman said, I put them in my granddaughters orange juice, and I sleep better at night.

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This little boy wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents room. Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, “Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I look in your bedroom you’re bouncing up and down on him.” His mom is taken by surprise and says, “Oh..well…ah….well I’m bouncing on his stomach because he’s fat and that makes him thin again.” And the boy says, “Well, that won’t work!” His mom says, “Why?!?” And the boy replies, “Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up!”

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