A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat on his face.
“Maybe all I need is some fresh air,” thought the man as he crawled outside.
He tried to stand up again, but fell face first into the mud.
“Screw it,” he thought. “I’ll just crawl home.”
The next morning, his wife found him on the doorstep asleep.
“You went out drinking last night, didn’t you?” she said.
“Uh, yes,” he said sheepishly. “How did you know?”
“You left your wheelchair at the bar again.”

“““““

Get Amazon Coupons at JuicyCoupons.com to save money online !

A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday. They arrive at the club and the doorman says, Hey, Dave! How ya doin?

His wife is puzzled and asks if hes been to this club before.

Oh, no, says Dave. Hes on my bowling team.

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if hed like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, How did she know that you drink Budweiser?

Shes in the Ladies Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them.

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says Hi Davey. Want your usual lap dance, big boy?

Daves wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.
The cabby turns his head and says, Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave.

“““““

Find Adult Dating for a short-term relationship at LustPersonals.com

guys wife is in a comma and he gets a call from the doctor the doctor
doctor: have something a little weird to ask you
man: ok
Doctor: well when the nurse was washing your wife her hart rate jumped everytime she went over her vagina so I was thinking if you came in and had oral sex with your wife it might bring her out of the comma I know its a crazy request but I think its worth a shot.
Man: Ok doc I am willing to try anything

man gets to the hospital goes into his wifes room 5 minutes later she flatlines doctor rushes in

Doctor : what happen
Man : well I am no doctor but I think she choked

“““““

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com

A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the can. He doesn’t want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying,”I spat in this beer, do not drink”. After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying,”So did I”

“““““

Loco Domains has .com domains for only $10.99!